right.

[juldea]

so I've done pretty well at forging myself a materially-independent lifestyle - I pay my own rent, car payments, food, fun, gas, insurance - the only thing I don't pay for is my tuition. Maybe this is somehow connected?

However, being spritually and emotionally and intellectually independent is failing miserably. Anyone know of a good deserted island?

Comments

[vambot5.livejournal.com]

I think it's healthy to depend on other people for some things. I'm not sure exactly what those things are, but I'm pretty sure that they change for different people. It's these things that make others feel needed, and that create the intricate (though often problematic) social structure in which we live.

Though if you are determined, I think brendan did a lot of research on islands awhile back.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

I don't agree. I don't think that anyone should be depended on or needed, when it comes down to it. People should be wanted, desired; they naturally fit in with your life and I don't know, vibrate with the same fundamental frequency as the tone of your life, but no one should depend on another person's existance for their own health, happiness, or existence.

I'm not saying anything like "we shouldn't need doctors", but I'm assuming that those who read this understand that.

[ex-dervish821.livejournal.com]

if you NEED somebody, you open yourself up to be crushed if they somehow aren't there anymore. it's great stuff for romance novels ("oh, juan, i simply can't live without you!"), but not so great in real life. at least that's my experience.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

heh. Juan.

[ex-dervish821.livejournal.com]

well, the first name that came to mind was robert, but i didn't want anyone (namely robert) weirding out about that one, so i picked a name that sounded romance novel-y and also did not belong to anybody i know.
then i remembered later that i had a boss named juan who wanted to have sex with me a long time ago (er, i guess just over 2 years ago, but it seems like a long time ago). so it was weird anyway.

[zenandtheart.livejournal.com]

I think we all do depend on others for our health, happiness and existence. Without the people I love, friends family etc, I would be very unhappy and I think I would become lonely and probably sick and not want to live after a time. Going to the UK next year scares me a lot, but knowing that I have family there that I can depend on to help me if I get into trouble, knowing my own parents would save me, knowing that I now have a few people I've met online who will probably become good friends is an enormous mental safety net. I would go if I didn't have these things but if I didn't have the beginnings of my own network within 6 months or so I would come home.

I read somewhere one that there are two types of people (aren't there always?:P), those who need time by themselves to recharge, clear their heads, etc and those who thrive on the company of other people - does this make sense? I think working out which one you are, or where along that spectrum you lie, can be helpful.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Without the people I love, friends family etc, I would be very unhappy and I think I would become lonely and probably sick and not want to live after a time.

That's what I'm trying to avoid - I'll enjoy the company of my friends, and others that I surround myself with, and certainly their company is wonderful! - but I won't depend on it, because these people won't always be around. And there won't always be someone to take their place. Someday I might just be alone, and I'm going to have to deal with it. Better learn now.

Re:

[zenandtheart.livejournal.com]

What makes you think you'll be alone? I'm 99% sure that I never will be - why would you? I was going to say that I don't know anyone who's completely alone, but then if they were completely alone I wouldn't know them so... I'm a doofus *grin*.
And if it does happen why not learn to deal with it at the time? Why put yourself through unnecessary grief now just in case it happens?

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

shrug. something inside tells me it's gonna happen. I can't say why or how or when, but it will.