(no subject)

[juldea]

I don't think that stopping the things that I am proud of myself for is what is going to make me feel better. Why does no one else understand that?

I guess I'm going to start losing friends because ... well I don't know why. Because I think that giving up things I have incentive to do won't give me incentive to do things? Imagine that.

I am so bottled up with emotion, and I have no outlet for it. I could cry, but that's not physical enough. I want to take a hammer and destroy something.

Which friend will decide they don't want to deal with me next?

I told you I'd end up alone. One by one...

Comments

[ex-dervish821.livejournal.com]

it's not that i don't want to deal with you. i've just heard the same things over and over, and said the same things over and over in response, and we keep ending up nowhere. i don't have any new responses to give to you. i don't know what else to do. but, if feeling sorry for yourself is going to help you feel better, by all means do it.

[baronbrian.livejournal.com]

To paraphrase a movie: You feel like destroying something. No problem there. Just get a hammer and go find something to break.

Corch again

[zenandtheart.livejournal.com]

Jewls, I can see where rachel is coming from, I am far more removed from the situation than she is and even I have felt sometimes like I am repeating myself to a brick wall. You said yourself that you have made up your mind about somethings...well if those are the things you are certain of then you must decide how to change whats left in order to make your definites deffinite, if that makes any sense at all.

I wish I could be more help to you, Pehaps I'll call you this weekend and we can talk. Whatever happens, I'm not going to simply abandon you, youre still important to me, you always will be.

much love
C.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

thanks, anna :)

I would like to write music, but I've never really been good at it. It's not that I write something and then I'm critical about it - when I sit down in front of a piano or with my horn and what I have in my head is to make music that's not written on a piece of paper, I just can't do it. It's weird. I play scales, or something easy like that, and that's all. Oh well =P

[applegobo.livejournal.com]

well... you gotta start somewhere! how's about a song including the c, f, and g major scales... there are free music program downloads... and you can compose any music you want! (just dont play with the program while you are supposed to be doing homework.... hehehhee)or... pick a midi file off of the internet and play by ear.... that is what i do with the clarinet... have some fun!

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

I do have a music writing program, and a good one at that, Finale. Maybe my problem is that I'm trying to start writing music with really wonderful sweeping concertos... hehehe... and not starting at the beginning. Hmm :)

[applegobo.livejournal.com]

yes, symphonies are fun to hear... but a pain to write... start EASYYYYYYYY!

[withlyn.livejournal.com]

The way I got started was by writing chord progressions I liked, and then making melodies just by chosing notes out of the chords. That's how I wrote stuff like the Mono Song and Don't Look at the Ghost, but it's lso essentially how we wrote the Dinosaur Song. It's really easy to do, but you can extend it in a lot of ways to make it more interesting. I'm trying to get away from it more now, but it's still pretty much the mainstay. It's a lot more methodical than making a melody and then putting chords to it. Melodies take a lot more straight inspiration to come up with; sometimes, if you're lucky, you have it. Usually, you don't.

[goldbug.livejournal.com]

maybe you could take up kickboxing. or start a fight club. ;)

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

I don't want to hurt other PEOPLE ;)

I probably should have exercised yesterday. That's a good way to get rid of energy!