meme, inspiring thought

[juldea]

This has only showed up in two friends' journals, and I didn't respond to it there because they're people I've only met once and only follow through LJ... but I'm inspired to do it myself.

How did you meet me?
What did you think of me when you first met me?
How has that perception changed/not changed?

Comments

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

Met you at an after-dance-practice, when I joined a conversation of Justin and others answering your questions about the SCA. My first impression was that you asked very intelligent questions, and actually listened to the answers, always a good thing.

I sort of re-met you the following week, as you were wearing very different clothes, and Ididn't recognise you at first. My 'first' impression that time was "Cute girl! I should dance with her!"

My first first impression, of your intelligence, has remained pretty much the same. The second first impression has metamorphosed to "Hot babe! Damn shame about the monogamy thing." Oh, and I also now know you well enough to approve of your aesthetic tastes -- which is to say, they're close enough to mine that we generally have plenty to talk about :-)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Metamorphing is good, but I hope I'm also still a cute girl you should dance with! ;)

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

Oh, sure, it's just a less significant aspect now. Perhaps I should have written "been subsumed by" rather than "metamorphosed to".

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with that. As much as it's a compliment, I'd much rather the stronger impression be "cute girl to dance with" than "hot babe to," erm, want.

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

If it helps, I know full well I'm not going to, erm, 'get' you. But the stereotypical Guy side of my personality is incapable of giving up Hope. Luckily, there are enough other sides to me that I can usually still carry on coherent conversations when there are Hot Babes in the room :-)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

I don't think I clearly expressed my point... The way you said it sounded like the "hot babe" impression has greatly overtaken the "cute girl" impression, and it makes me uncomfortable to be friends with someone who sees me more as a hot babe than a cute girl, in the senses we're referring to.

Am I clear yet? I'm low on sleep thanks to last night, so I don't know if I'm communicating well. ;)

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

I *think* you're clear, but that doesn't mean that I'm right :-)

Perhaps I was being too clever/subtle with the link in the above post. Full quotation follows:

Harry Burns : What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright : That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns : No you don't.
Sally Albright : Yes I do.
Harry Burns : No you don't.
Sally Albright : Yes I do.
Harry Burns : You only think you do.
Sally Albright : You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns : No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright : They do not.
Harry Burns : Do too.
Sally Albright : They do not.
Harry Burns : Do too.
Sally Albright : How do you know?
Harry Burns : Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright : So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns : No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright : What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns : Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Now, I don't fully agree with Harry on this. Friendship is possible. But "the sex thing" is still always out there. If this makes you uncomfortable, I regret that. But it would be dishonest of me to pretend it wasn't so.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

I do know the quote, and understood your point.. hrm... is probably a moot argument, as you don't make me feel uncomfortable in person.