ding dong

Wow, I didn't plan on this, but it's directly midnight and I'm going to bed now. I've been up for 36 hours. It's definitely time.

I will miss my kitties! Brian and Waylon don't seem to have gotten home yet. I hope they love the cats when they get there.

ding dong

Wow, I didn't plan on this, but it's directly midnight and I'm going to bed now. I've been up for 36 hours. It's definitely time.

I will miss my kitties! Brian and Waylon don't seem to have gotten home yet. I hope they love the cats when they get there.

there's rain on my apple

an allegory for the day:
It wasn't raining hard when I was in class or in the computer lab. However, when it was time to ride my bike home, it poured. I wasn't wearing more than one shirt, and I was wet, cold, and unhappy.

So why I'm unhappy... I spent over an hour last night studying German vocab because I was going to take one of my missed quizzes today after the exam. I wasn't worried about the exam: the prof told me which stories it was over, and I know those stories well, I could give you all the information on them right now if necessary. So I worked and worked on vocab with my sleep-deprived mind and went to bed at midnight. I set my alarm for 8 so I could make it to 9-o-clock discrete math which I haven't been to in weeks =P

I don't remember anything before waking up a little after 9 and being sad. But then again, I need to catch up on the reading for that class before I'd probably recognize anything the prof says anyway, so I'll deal. I missed another class. No huge worries; I'm not going to fail.

I go to German class, and get an exam. It's three pages; at the top of each page is a few questions in German that I'm supposed to write an essay about. The first thing that starts to worry me is that I don't know some of the words in the questions - words I can't really figure out in context. I mean, "Describe the [unknown word] between the storyteller and the girl" can be a lot of things from this book... Describe the differences, the feelings, the conversation, what? So I made some wild guesses.

So then I start... trying to write. And I realize the one big difference between writing essays at home and essays on an exam... There's no QuickDic on an exam. There's no way to look up words to say things correctly. I actually have to rely on only the vocabulary I know...

And I'm fucked.

I manage to do okay and write a whole page of stuff for the first question... and that took about 2/3 of the exam time, because every sentence I have to stop and think out, "How to say this in German using words I know?" When I write essays for classes, I use good flowery expressive English, and suddenly I can't do that anymore, and it totally messed me up.

So by the time class was over and I was the only one left in the room, I had one question done and 3-4 sentences for the other, and I was crying. Dr. Thompson knows what's going on and that I'm completely stressed out, and so she was very willing to let me have some extra time on it sometime else. The problem with that is...

Dr. Thompson: What are you doing for the rest of today?
Me: work until 6, and work from 6:30-10.
Dr. T: what about tomorrow?
Me: class from 8:30-11:30, work from noon-6, exam at 7
Dr. T: what about Thursday?
Me: I leave town.
Dr. T: when do you get back?
Me: Monday.
Dr. T: when do you have time next week?
Me: [blank look]

So yeah, there's the problems.

A nice good solution I think would be to take a W in a course or two. Certainly I could just take one in discrete and not have to worry about it anymore, and come back next semester or whenever with the knowledge of how badass it is under my belt. Doing that with German would be nice, too, since I've gotten so behind. But what sucks is that since my tuition is paid for buy the state, they make me pay them back if I drop a class. I'm already paying for one class (I always assume it to be discrete) so nothing will change if I just quit that. However, if I go any further, I won't only have to pay them back for the class I dropped, I have to pay them for the whole semester, since being a full-time student is part of the requirements and that would take me under 12 hours. So I don't know what to do.

Maybe I should drop discrete, and take it in Boston at Jason's school next summer. It's low-level so it should transfer. That would be nice...

So I went to the lab after German and Brendan and Waylon were there. I cried on Brendan for a very brief amount of time before he had to go to class. I then sat on the floor next to Waylon (playing everquest of course) and lay my head on the side of his leg. He reached out with his hand and patted/rubbed me on the shoulder for a long time while playing (I assume, I wasn't looking up or watching or paying attention, was busy wiping my eyes and nose) EQ with his other hand. He leaned over to give me a hug every now and then though. When I was coherent we talked a little about the above problems and solutions (minus the possibility of summer school at Wentworth, I just thought of it). This is Waylon's last semester of financial aid so he understands.

I am very glad to have Brendan and Waylon as friends.

So then I rode home, got sopping wet, didn't have cats to love me when I was there, and came to work. Now I'm damp and cold and still unhappy.

there's rain on my apple

an allegory for the day:
It wasn't raining hard when I was in class or in the computer lab. However, when it was time to ride my bike home, it poured. I wasn't wearing more than one shirt, and I was wet, cold, and unhappy.

So why I'm unhappy... I spent over an hour last night studying German vocab because I was going to take one of my missed quizzes today after the exam. I wasn't worried about the exam: the prof told me which stories it was over, and I know those stories well, I could give you all the information on them right now if necessary. So I worked and worked on vocab with my sleep-deprived mind and went to bed at midnight. I set my alarm for 8 so I could make it to 9-o-clock discrete math which I haven't been to in weeks =P

I don't remember anything before waking up a little after 9 and being sad. But then again, I need to catch up on the reading for that class before I'd probably recognize anything the prof says anyway, so I'll deal. I missed another class. No huge worries; I'm not going to fail.

I go to German class, and get an exam. It's three pages; at the top of each page is a few questions in German that I'm supposed to write an essay about. The first thing that starts to worry me is that I don't know some of the words in the questions - words I can't really figure out in context. I mean, "Describe the [unknown word] between the storyteller and the girl" can be a lot of things from this book... Describe the differences, the feelings, the conversation, what? So I made some wild guesses.

So then I start... trying to write. And I realize the one big difference between writing essays at home and essays on an exam... There's no QuickDic on an exam. There's no way to look up words to say things correctly. I actually have to rely on only the vocabulary I know...

And I'm fucked.

I manage to do okay and write a whole page of stuff for the first question... and that took about 2/3 of the exam time, because every sentence I have to stop and think out, "How to say this in German using words I know?" When I write essays for classes, I use good flowery expressive English, and suddenly I can't do that anymore, and it totally messed me up.

So by the time class was over and I was the only one left in the room, I had one question done and 3-4 sentences for the other, and I was crying. Dr. Thompson knows what's going on and that I'm completely stressed out, and so she was very willing to let me have some extra time on it sometime else. The problem with that is...

Dr. Thompson: What are you doing for the rest of today?
Me: work until 6, and work from 6:30-10.
Dr. T: what about tomorrow?
Me: class from 8:30-11:30, work from noon-6, exam at 7
Dr. T: what about Thursday?
Me: I leave town.
Dr. T: when do you get back?
Me: Monday.
Dr. T: when do you have time next week?
Me: [blank look]

So yeah, there's the problems.

A nice good solution I think would be to take a W in a course or two. Certainly I could just take one in discrete and not have to worry about it anymore, and come back next semester or whenever with the knowledge of how badass it is under my belt. Doing that with German would be nice, too, since I've gotten so behind. But what sucks is that since my tuition is paid for buy the state, they make me pay them back if I drop a class. I'm already paying for one class (I always assume it to be discrete) so nothing will change if I just quit that. However, if I go any further, I won't only have to pay them back for the class I dropped, I have to pay them for the whole semester, since being a full-time student is part of the requirements and that would take me under 12 hours. So I don't know what to do.

Maybe I should drop discrete, and take it in Boston at Jason's school next summer. It's low-level so it should transfer. That would be nice...

So I went to the lab after German and Brendan and Waylon were there. I cried on Brendan for a very brief amount of time before he had to go to class. I then sat on the floor next to Waylon (playing everquest of course) and lay my head on the side of his leg. He reached out with his hand and patted/rubbed me on the shoulder for a long time while playing (I assume, I wasn't looking up or watching or paying attention, was busy wiping my eyes and nose) EQ with his other hand. He leaned over to give me a hug every now and then though. When I was coherent we talked a little about the above problems and solutions (minus the possibility of summer school at Wentworth, I just thought of it). This is Waylon's last semester of financial aid so he understands.

I am very glad to have Brendan and Waylon as friends.

So then I rode home, got sopping wet, didn't have cats to love me when I was there, and came to work. Now I'm damp and cold and still unhappy.

go Elton

Don't wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better
And while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man

Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself

go Elton

Don't wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better
And while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man

Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself

who needs an excuse to eat out?

Eat Out for America

Wish I weren't on a plane all night.

who needs an excuse to eat out?

Eat Out for America

Wish I weren't on a plane all night.

holy shit

It's time to enroll for next semester already.

holy shit

It's time to enroll for next semester already.

excerpts from my history of science book

The story begins some 5,000 years ago with the Sumerians, those lively people who settled in Mesopotamia. When you read, on one of their clay tablets, this exchange between father and son: "Where did you go?" "Nowhere." "Then why are you late?", you realize that 5,000 years are like an evening gone.

If you want to travel briefly back in time (wet clay, a wooden stylus and a pervasive smell of sheep might help)...

...just as you know where to put the decimal point when you remember that a half gallon of milk costs one fifty-five, and your travel agent calls with a bargain flight to Toronto for one fifty-five.

I once casually asked a Greek friend in Paris how many of his countrymen lived there. He shrugged. "Who knows? But I'll quickly find out." He leapt from our cafe table and ran to the nearest wall, where he began to drill with his finger. "What are you doing?" I asked, utterly perplexed. "I don't know," he said, "but Greeks are curious, and soon every Greek in Paris will be here, asking questions and giving advice."

...irony, where you mean only some of what you say but don't say most of what you mean.

In my neck of the woods, where we tried to outdo each other as kids with bazillions and kazillions, it always came down to who could squeeze one last zero on to the page - like the barmen of Dublin who always manage to fit yet one more drop of Guinness into a brimming pint...

As a mathematician I know said recently, "Large numbers are actually very large."

A seven-year-old of my acquaintance claimed that the last number of all was 23,000. "What about 23,000 and one?" she was asked. After a pause: "Well, I was close."


I like this book.

excerpts from my history of science book

The story begins some 5,000 years ago with the Sumerians, those lively people who settled in Mesopotamia. When you read, on one of their clay tablets, this exchange between father and son: "Where did you go?" "Nowhere." "Then why are you late?", you realize that 5,000 years are like an evening gone.

If you want to travel briefly back in time (wet clay, a wooden stylus and a pervasive smell of sheep might help)...

...just as you know where to put the decimal point when you remember that a half gallon of milk costs one fifty-five, and your travel agent calls with a bargain flight to Toronto for one fifty-five.

I once casually asked a Greek friend in Paris how many of his countrymen lived there. He shrugged. "Who knows? But I'll quickly find out." He leapt from our cafe table and ran to the nearest wall, where he began to drill with his finger. "What are you doing?" I asked, utterly perplexed. "I don't know," he said, "but Greeks are curious, and soon every Greek in Paris will be here, asking questions and giving advice."

...irony, where you mean only some of what you say but don't say most of what you mean.

In my neck of the woods, where we tried to outdo each other as kids with bazillions and kazillions, it always came down to who could squeeze one last zero on to the page - like the barmen of Dublin who always manage to fit yet one more drop of Guinness into a brimming pint...

As a mathematician I know said recently, "Large numbers are actually very large."

A seven-year-old of my acquaintance claimed that the last number of all was 23,000. "What about 23,000 and one?" she was asked. After a pause: "Well, I was close."


I like this book.

(no subject)

oh boy, look at what I'm listening to!

(no subject)

oh boy, look at what I'm listening to!