analogy

[juldea]

Fear me and my analogies.

5 years ago, I wanted to date Nick Burnett. He was everything great and perfect to me (most of the time). ;) I planned my future life so that it included him in it, because that's what I desired.

After a while, we no longer desired to share our future lives in that way. We decided to break apart, and search for other people with whom to do that.

That doesn't make the time we spent together meaningless or a waste. It was good and happy at the time. It worked us towards the goal we wanted. The goal ended up changing, but that doesn't affect that time we had.

I've found a new person to want to share my future with, and I'm working towards that goal now. I'm not continuing to work towards spending my life with Nick - I don't want that. Why would I spend my time working on a goal I'm not interested in? THAT is wasting time.

Now, maybe ending up marrying Nick would solve some other goal. A goal for financial stability, maybe. But is not marrying him working against that other goal? Maybe making it a bit harder, yeah, but not hindering it. I'll just have to work a bit harder at it, go about it a different way.

So, the whole point here: replace Nick with "a college degree" (and obviously marriage = graduating with said degree).

Should I continue to waste my time working towards a goal I no longer want, only because it ensures an easier path to another goal I'm interested in the future? Or should I ditch this old unwanted goal and quit wasting my time on it now, with the knowledge that it will make my other future goal more difficult?

Comments

[baronbrian.livejournal.com]

Here's my two cents, feel free to give change.

You should get your degree even if you don't want to finish. Why? Well I could give many reasons but the main reason is you've come this far why quit now? You're almost done. Might as well see it through.

[altair.livejournal.com]

I'd have to agree.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Think in terms of the analogy. You've dated Nick for 2 years now, why break up? Go ahead and get married and finish it.

I don't WANT to marry Nick anymore. I want my life to go elsewhere.

Why not finish now? I don't want to.

[tinder.livejournal.com]

I've dated Nick for 5 minutes now, why break up? He smells, that's why!

[baronbrian.livejournal.com]

Like Nick said, it's flawed logic. You're carrying the analogy too far. Remember that all analogies are flawed. If you married Nick then that's something that will continue on and on. It would take a lot of time and effort to end it. The degree, however, will be done in about a a year and then afterwards you will be able to do what you want and because of the degree you will have more options open to you.

[ex-dervish821.livejournal.com]

wow, i was just wondering how to phrase that exact thought. thanks, brian. :)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

I find it amusing that what I want to type here is that YOU guys (brian, rachel) are taking things too seriously.

I'm using my LJ to blather. Get my thoughts out. Jason can tell you that a scant few minutes after this post, I was already on another analogy that told me it was good to stay in school (I like analogies).

There are things going on in my life, and I need to get them all out and be able to objectively (or as much as possible) figure out what's going on and plan the next steps.

So I've been spending a few years arguing one side of this discussion, and now I'm arguing the other. Getting a feel for it. There are flaws, yes. Whether or not those are important to me is what I'm trying to figure out.

[baronbrian.livejournal.com]

Actually I just enjoy a good argument myself... ;)

[tinder.livejournal.com]

That's flawed logic. How is putting additional effort into an outcome you do not desire anything but counterproductive, and anathema?

[gaffman.livejournal.com]

Sounds like youre looking for people to tell you its ok to take the asy way out again. Unfortunatley i dont think anyone is going to tell you to drop out of uni. Why? Youve got a year left until you COMPLETE youre degree (where a marriage would simply be moving on to the next stage) ...your goals may have changed...but...if you quit now then you have essentially wasted the last x years of your life at uni being poor and appart from jason for no reason. If you werent going to get youre degree then you could have moved to boston years ago and got a full time job and be making more money now. I dunno about you but I would want to have a REASON to not have done that. I dropped out of uni in first year when i still had along way to go and decided to cut my losses and start over. That was the right decision for me then. If you had decided to drop out in first year then it would be different and you would be with jason already. But you stayed for a reason. That reason is why youve put yourself thru such hardship for the last few years. Dont make all that for nothing when the end is so close.

*hugs*
C.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

No corch, you still don't see the point. If I dropped out now I wouldn't be wasting anything. I've been in school for a few years, trying to get a degree, and those were good long years of learning and going towards my goal. Now, I don't particularly care to get my degree anymore. So the only wasted time would be if I stuck around and got it while I don't have the desire to.

I'm not looking for ANYONE to tell me ANYTHING. I'm sorting out all my own thoughts by putting them on here. If you don't want to comment to them, fine. I'll still post them. Hell, I'll even block comments for these posts if it makes you feel better.

[gaffman.livejournal.com]

We're commenting because we care jewls.

Youre goals may have changed, but if you change what youre doing everytime your goals change you will complete very few of them and not benefit from the time you spent trying to achive them. If you were to drop out of school now then regardless of whether you enjoyed yourself or not, whatever you have learned, the main benefit to be gained from going to uni was to get a piece of paper that says you know stuff. Despite what you may know, people will be less inclined to believe you with out the piece of paper, take it from someone who chose shun the education system all together. Ive had to prove my worth every step of the way and its HARD to get your foot in the door when all you have say is 'i know my shit, no really'.

The gist of what im saying basicly being that however you choose to see it, if you leave now the time you spent at school will have been wasted in one sense or another. The time you could have spent with jason and didnt because you were trying to get a degree you didnt end up getting, the time you could have spent getting experience at a lower level to replace your lack of a degree, wasted in the same way, and now you will have to spend that time anyway because you DONT have a degree and you wil need experience on your resume to replace that.

In short hon, maybe its not your goal now, but it will quite possibly make achiving your future goals easier, giving up now will only give people the impression that youre a quitter, or that you cant follow thru, that you never finish anything. whether its true or not, people who dont know you as well as your friends will assume if thats all they have to go on.

much luv
C.

[mongonoodle.livejournal.com]

i'm gonna have to give this a hearty "hear here." you sound like a more-sensible-than-the-average-boy boy. most people i know would just say "fuck it" and let go. julia, if you geniunely think that stopping school and heading out towards your next goal in line is a *good* or *prudent* idea, then talk to any of the zillions of people we know who have no degree and suddenly decide they want to change jobs. it makes it terribly difficult. even with great references. even with a stunning resume or portfolio. people are jerks, and they want to see the little piece of paper. they want you to be a *certified* smarty. hell. look at me. i've even got the little paper, but all it says is that i know how to play the viola, and still nobody wants to hire me. you're working on a good, solid, useful degree. you've paid so much money for it, and invested so much time. just another little push and you'll be there, paper in hand, and *then* you can drop everything for jason.

[gaffman.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAAHAHAAAAA someone called me sensible :P

do as i say, not as i do

[maximilian-xiii.livejournal.com]

tell everyone to fuck off and do what makes you happy... course i'm the one who's only going to school to keep my dad from harassing me while i'm living with him... the other day i had the bright idea to change majors after this semister... because its easier to get... and i do somewhat agree with the logic that having a degree, any degree, will help me in getting jobs in the future... so i may end up with one after all

[nemoalia.livejournal.com]

Tee hee -- I don't really have anything to say in response to this post, but I do want to comment on your more recent post, and comments are disabled! Anyway, I'm always happy to read your thoughts. And I know what it feels like just to speak in stream of consciousness and then have things suddenly taken seriously. But I suppose that's part of the beauty of having people pay attention when you speak. I mean, at least you know we're listening, right?

Oh, lady. We're all in the same boat, I think. There are very few people who are really satisfied with their present lot in life. I nearly didn't come to college at all, but now I'm here and sometimes I still wish I weren't. But I've gotten very good at aiming for short-term goals and not really thinking about the longer ones, believing that things will get better once I get over whatever hurdle is currently in my path. I'm not sure that this is the best way to approach life, but at least it gets things done. Anyway, I imagine there's nothing any of us can say that will necessarily be at all applicable to your life. But we'd all like to hope that we can make your way easier, if possible. Just let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

[(Anonymous)]

we are going to have such a huge fucking kick ass party next spring when we finally graduate...

here's to something worth looking forward to.
(krink)

p.s. don't take that stuff personally, they're just trying to help you do what is best. it shows they care about you! nobody thinks you're stupid!

[juldea.livejournal.com]

huge fucking kick ass party

You're on. ;)