It's gonna be the future soon...

Jason was whining at me earlier to update my journal because he was suffering from a lack of reading material. I couldn't at the time since Randen and Brian and I were watching a movie, but here goes. I don't have a specific topic to talk about, but I'll just rant for a bit.

I spent a good portion of this afternoon training myself to do a backbend. You know, where you start off standing up, and you lean over backwards until your hands hit the floor and you're doing a backbend. I always wanted to be able to do that, since I was little, but I never got up the courage to try it. I think I'm very proud of the methods I used today to get myself to do one. I started off by trying to do a few just on the spot, but I found that once my head was upside-down the idea of just FALLING backwards really scared me. So I piled up my beanbag, purple chair pillow, and two bed pillows in a tower on the floor and practiced leaning over and falling on them a few times. That was fine, so I started practicing catching myself with my hands and immediately dropping myself back onto the pillows. When that was done, I started just catching myself with my hands. My body would still hit the pillows, because they were so high, but I was catching myself! So then I slowly took the pillows away, one by one, until I was just doing backbends over the little chair pillow, and then bare on the floor. And I did it! Yay!

Matrix was oblivious to my quest. She wanted to lay on/around the pillows. One time she walked over right as I was falling backwards and I almost thought my hand would hit her and not the floor and injure both of us. Luckily that didn't happen.

So my next goal is to be able to go from the backbend and kick my legs over and stand up. It sounds simple, but it's just daunting. If I thought that getting drunk would only hinder my fear, I'd try it then, but I don't think I'd be in prime physical condition at that time either ;)

My skin is coming off of my body in huge chunks. That's what I get for getting burnt. It itches a lot, but when I scratch it, all my skin peels off. It's rather disturbing. I wish I could scrub it all off.

Matrix curled up next to Brian in his beanbag today while we were watching movies. I took a picture; I'll post it soon. It was very very cute.

My diet is going well. I'm already down to 155.5, at least according to the scale this morning! I started off at 158.5. I'm averaging about 1400 calories a day, never under 1200. I'm not sure how much I had a thai kum koon the other night, but that's okay. Sometimes you don't have to count. ;) And I've even been able to have fast food on some days; I had LJS a few days ago when I got a coupon in the paper, and Arby's tonight with Randen and Brian. It's just all about planning.

My energy level is skyrocketing, too. I'm wondering if I could start doing an exercise video EVERY morning, not just every other morning. I know that I did one this morning and I want to get up in the morning and do the next one. Maybe that's just because it's the 'hip hop' aerobics video and it's so much fun. It's got a pretty fast pace, but I've done it once now and so have a slight edge.

I don't think I have much more to say. I miss everyone who is gone! Goldbug and Rachel and Karen! Maybe someday I will have a fun adventure in a far-off land.

Oh! the OMP is this weekend! I am very excited... I need to start thinking about what I'm going to pack/wear/etc. And when I am going to dye my hair and do laundry (both on wed. night?). And I need to mend my dance costume and figure out what I am going to dance to (IF I dance). So many things to think about!!

And I am going to room with Corch! And Samar, who I actually don't know the gender of. I'm fairly certain the character is female, but that doesn't mean anything about the player. ;) So anyway, gotta pack the granny nightgowns, grin. Or maybe I'll just do the t-shirt and boxers thing.

Which reminds me of ANOTHER thing... gonna Nads again soon. The hair that wasn't long enough the first two times is now long enough. I wonder if it'll work weirdly on flaky skin? Maybe I'll have to scrub before I do it.

Anyway, it's late and it's bedtime. See everyone in the morning!

There's one big problem with being the kind of person where a lot of different things come very quickly and easily to you.

You hardly ever are taught at YOUR pace, you get bored of things, quit, and regret it later.

Tonight I went and watched the exhibition of the pom/dance squad camp that's been held on campus this past week. I'd passed by these girls practicing every day on my ways to and from work, and one of the days I stopped and asked a parent if they were going to do a big show sometime. She told me about the exhibition tonight, and the stuff tomorrow morning (which I also plan on attending).

Now, these girls are in much better shape than me. 90% of them probably weigh 30 pounds less than I do. They can do some things (specifically jumps) that I can't.

But I could probably have outdanced 3/4 of them on that field.

Apparently they were all taught a routine yesterday. Today each squad (about 15?) came individually and did the routine for their judges. By about the 5th squad, I knew parts of the routine. I loved picking it up, analyzing the girls, moving with the music.

I miss it.

I miss that kind of dancing, the hip-hop funky jazzy style. I miss learning a routine in a day or two. I miss being challenged.

That is one of the reasons why I haven't gone to dance in a while (along with no gas money). It's taken the class, the ADVANCED class, 4 classes to pick up what I (and few of the others) could have picked up in half an hour. Amira and I could learn that entire choreography in one lesson. However, Soraya can't teach at our pace, or she'd lose the others.

*sigh*

And somewhere, I picked up a creativity block when it comes to making up my own routines. I put on music and try to think of moves and my mind just freezes up. I remember maybe one or two basic things to do, keep doing them over and over, get sick of myself, and give up.

Which means I'm exactly the opposite of the kind of person I strive, want, and try to pretend I am. I'm no individual with exciting new thoughts and ideas that revolutionize the world.

I'm a sad lonely imposter who lives off of other's ideas.

Well Rachel posted what she dreamed about, so will I. I dreamed a lot of different little things. I dreamed that my political science professor gave me a C and I didn't pull my GPA up. I dreamed that Jason's mother was telling him that she didn't want him calling me (or me calling him) for the rest of the summer. I dreamed that I slept through my dance performance and didn't have time to tell Soraya that I was sick and couldn't go. Many sad dreams :( I guess that's what cough syrup does to me.

But anyway, I did wake up early enough to tell Soraya I was sick and couldn't make it (woke up to the phone, actually, the dancer who was going to give me a ride called for some unknown reason, and I just passed the message through her). I know Jason's mom likes me and wants me to visit them again. Annndddd...

3As and a B! That makes a 3.31! And, unless I've lost any and all math skills, that's higher than a 3.25! That means the Regents are going to pay for me to go to school again! Yay!

If I didn't have this icky cough and this overall lack of energy (it's not laziness, I really don't have the energy... my mom thinks I'm having a mono relapse, which is possible...) I'd be jubilant. I guess now I'm just...