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juldeaOh dear. Let's see.
So River has this knowledge that is super-secret Alliance stuff, and so they send this super-secret awesome assassin spy after her. He doesn't know what she knows, he just knows that he is a religious fanatic for a world without sin and of course, defying the Alliance is a sin. Yes, he knows that the killing he does is a sin, and he knows that the world he is working for doesn't have a place for him. It's pretty freaky.
In efforts to find her, he has her crazy-go-nuts behavior mod trigger broadcast subliminally in TV programs, so eventually they're on a planet making a deal and she watches some anime and goes batshit and beats up everyone and everything. Luckily Simon had learned a different trigger, to make her fall asleep, when he kidnapped her and so he was able to stop her from killing Mal.
This of course alerts the assassin to where she was, and who she was with, and he goes about hunting Serenity.
The crew contemplates ditching Simon and River, and Simon actually offers out of his own anger to leave, but things of course work out such that they end up staying. Mainly because Reavers attack the place where they were going to stay behind.
Oh, and this whole time River is having weird flashbacks (whether or not they're real we don't know) to younger school days, and horrid nightmares about Reavers, and when she went into kickass mode she whispered "Miranda."
Serenity gets the obvious-trap phone call from Inara, Mal plays the hero and goes in and almost gets killed by the spy because he's so awesome. The spy, I mean. Inara plays a trick, however, and they get out.
Earlier in the movie they had gone to Haven, where Book now lives, to rest and replenish. They go back and it's TRASHED and Book dies in Mal's arms. :( And we don't even get to learn anything about him, dammit!!!! Hopefully it'll be covered in a prequel or something. A comic. I don't care, I just wanna knowwwww.
So River, who has been chained up this whole time, breaks out, knocks out Jayne, knocks out Simon (because she fears that he'll say the sleep code word again), and hijacks the ship to show that Miranda is a planet... she didn't know any other way to share that information, I guess since she's CRAZY.
So Miranda is this planet, but it's got no history and no available information on it... but it does exist, so obviously there's something weird about it. They, of course, decide to go.
So they go to Miranda, only it's a planet that's pretty much surrounded by a Reaver 'colony', so they have to disguise Serenity as a Reaver ship to get through... all nasty-like. They get on the planet and it's... well, it's like a ghost town, only all the corpses are just sitting around. The whole planet is covered with cities, looks completely normal, only everywhere there are corpses just sitting there. No bullet wounds, no broken limbs, just... dead. And decaying. It's nasty.
They eventually track down a weak signal to find a Alliance ship with a vid on it... A research team went there and was sending back her last information about the planet. Turns out that Miranda was an experiment, with the government putting in a 'calming' gas drug in the air systems to make the settlers less likely to rebel... The inhabitants stopped caring enough to fight, then they stopped caring enough to go to work, then they stopped caring enough to eat, and live... and just died where they sat. Very creepy.
And then the hammer - that was only about 90% of the population. The other 10% reacted in reverse to the drug, going homicidally insane and inhuman.
Yes, the Alliance created the Reavers. A side effect, but still... they fucking created the Reavers. No wonder big secret hush-hush, eh? So the Serenity folks take the vid with them, wanting to take it to a friend they have ("Mr. Universe," one of the dumbest parts of the movie, but oh well he serves a purpose... he's a big 'net junkie, basically, and can hack into the whole core and broadcast the vid everywhere. Of course, because they had gone to see him before, though, the spy and a whole armada of Alliance ships are there waiting with a trap. But also of course, Mal sees that this is going to happen...
So they fly back through the Reaver 'colony,' and when they're almost all the way through, they turn around and blow up one of the ships. This of course causes the entire Reaver colony to start following them... which means that when Serenity shows up in the skies, facing the Alliance armada, it has a Reaver armada following and the two big groups clash in a FUCKING AWESOME space fight!
Serenity, not wanting to fight but just to get to the surface so they can broadcast the signal, does some amazing flying in the hands of Wash to get away from both the Alliance and the Reavers and get to the surface. It's this amazing sequence of awesome flying... Wash has been pretty much just the comic relief for the whole movie, and he gets his five minutes of fame doing some seriously fucking amazing flying. I mean really. You're on the edge of your seat as he maneouvers around ships, and then the engines are cut out and he goes to backup, but there's not enough power to land and he has to do this crazy skid landing but they make it!! And everyone's looking around amazed, doing the "omg we made it, we're alive" thing, and Wash makes the funny remark, and everyone's laughing and we all love him.
And then a Reaver ship pierces a huge metal 'claw' through the hull and impales Wash. That quickly. One moment you're smiling and going, "Woo Wash!" and the next, if you're me, you're literally screaming as you favorite character suddenly dies a horribly brutal death after being the hero of the hour.
I can't stress this part enough. I screamed, I was in shock, and then I started sobbing pretty much throughout the rest of the movie. But that's just me, maybe you won't take it as hard. But... damn.
Anyway, Zoe is of course also freaking out, but Mal realizes the Reavers are about to overtake them and drags everyone out and into the complex Mr. Universe, fighting the whole way of course. Mal takes the vid and continues on alone, leaving the others to set up a blockade against the hordes of incoming Reavers, no one expecting to get out alive. They just want to do what's right and get out the vid.
Mr. Universe's stuff has all been destroyed and he's dead, of course, but he has managed to leave Mal a message as to a special hidden transmitter that Mal goes after. Of course, super-secret spy guy shows up and gets the message as well, and follows Mal there.
The others are holding their own in front of a blast door, that being their last line of defense, trying to keep the Reavers out first. Kaylee is nervous at first, and then Simon takes the last moments of his life to admit that he regrets not 'being with her' 'in the sex way' (his words, then hers) and she gets the courage to fight back. ;)
Zoe, crazy with grief, leaves cover and goes to tackle some Reavers face-to-face, getting split up the back from ass-to-neck with a knife of some kind and eventually hauled back under cover. Jayne is shot in the shoulder and Kaylee takes some kind of poison wound, and everyone retreats behind the blast door... but it doesn't close all the way! Something is jamming it. Also, Simon left his medical bag out where the Reavers are, and as he stands to look for it, gets shot in the chest. Things are looking grim for our friends. River leans over Simon and says, "You've always taken care of me... now it's my turn," and dives out of the hole in the door, grabbing Simon's bag and tossing it in before removing the jam in the mechanism and disappearing under a horde of Reavers as the door closes in front of her.
Mal and the badass fight, Mal previously at a disadvantage but now having something he believes in to fight for (kind of the point of the movie for him, having belief.) However, he still gets a sword in the gut. Then the spy uses a trick he used earlier in the movie involving punching someone in a specific set of nerves that apparently paralyzes them completely. It's the end for Mal... until he suddenly moves and totally lays out the spy. Turns out he lost that nerve cluster to a piece of shrapnel long ago in the war. ;) Mal doesn't kill the guy but rather ties him up to watch the vid being broadcast, promising that this is his desired "world without sin" (remember that from earlier?)
There are shots of River fighting for her life amongst hordes of Reavers, kicking ass in her specially trained way... Not as Matrix as I thought. Very good. But the odds are crazily overwhelming...
Mal rejoins the others in their hidey-hole, noting the injuries of everyone and the absense of River. Right as the others are trying to explain what happened to her, the blast door opens... to the TOTAL MONEY SHOT of River, standing very Buffy-like, a knife in one hand and an axe in the other, and PILES of Reaver bodies dead all around her. SO going to be a LJ icon.
Before anyone can say anything, the wall behind her explodes and a bunch of Alliance operatives pour in with their guns trained at her, telling her to drop her weapons, and asking on their radios for the kill order from SuperSecretSpy. She squeezes the axe, a finger tightens on a trigger... and Spyman says, "Stand down!" Turns out that Mal's vid seriously crumbled his worldview and he, now a shell of a man, can't think of anything to do other than let them go.
There's a short, sweet funeral for Mr. Universe, Book, and Wash (see me? STILL SOBBING), but everyone else has healed up and doing okay. Zoe wears a beautiful dress. There's this great moment after the funeral when everyone is getting back aboard the ship and Mal asks Zoe, "How's she doing?" and Zoe says, "She's had an awful hard fight, sir, but she'll fly," and of course it's them talking about Zoe herself while pretending to talk about the ship.
Oh and switch to shot of Kaylee and Simon making out, then falling over into her bunk... and then River peeks down from the ceiling!! Meep.
Mal gets in the pilot's seat to take off, and looks to the side and asks, "So, are you going to play co-pilot for me?" and it's River in the co-pilot seat. She smiles at him, takes the controls, and ZOOM Serenity takes off into the air. He's all like, ok ok you're a genius I get it. But then he says, "Do you know what the first rule of flying is? Actually, I don't need to tell you, because you know what I'm going to say anyway," and she says, "I like to hear you say it anyway." And Mal says, "Love. You take a ship into the air and you don't love her, and she won't fly. Love is what keeps her in the air when she should be crashing, what keeps her together when she could be falling apart." Etc etc, I can't remember the whole thing, but you know what kind of stuff it is. Then Serenity flies off, and a piece of metal flies off of the ship and into the camera and CREDITS.
WASH DIES WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :( Fuckers. I'm going to go cry some more now.
So River has this knowledge that is super-secret Alliance stuff, and so they send this super-secret awesome assassin spy after her. He doesn't know what she knows, he just knows that he is a religious fanatic for a world without sin and of course, defying the Alliance is a sin. Yes, he knows that the killing he does is a sin, and he knows that the world he is working for doesn't have a place for him. It's pretty freaky.
In efforts to find her, he has her crazy-go-nuts behavior mod trigger broadcast subliminally in TV programs, so eventually they're on a planet making a deal and she watches some anime and goes batshit and beats up everyone and everything. Luckily Simon had learned a different trigger, to make her fall asleep, when he kidnapped her and so he was able to stop her from killing Mal.
This of course alerts the assassin to where she was, and who she was with, and he goes about hunting Serenity.
The crew contemplates ditching Simon and River, and Simon actually offers out of his own anger to leave, but things of course work out such that they end up staying. Mainly because Reavers attack the place where they were going to stay behind.
Oh, and this whole time River is having weird flashbacks (whether or not they're real we don't know) to younger school days, and horrid nightmares about Reavers, and when she went into kickass mode she whispered "Miranda."
Serenity gets the obvious-trap phone call from Inara, Mal plays the hero and goes in and almost gets killed by the spy because he's so awesome. The spy, I mean. Inara plays a trick, however, and they get out.
Earlier in the movie they had gone to Haven, where Book now lives, to rest and replenish. They go back and it's TRASHED and Book dies in Mal's arms. :( And we don't even get to learn anything about him, dammit!!!! Hopefully it'll be covered in a prequel or something. A comic. I don't care, I just wanna knowwwww.
So River, who has been chained up this whole time, breaks out, knocks out Jayne, knocks out Simon (because she fears that he'll say the sleep code word again), and hijacks the ship to show that Miranda is a planet... she didn't know any other way to share that information, I guess since she's CRAZY.
So Miranda is this planet, but it's got no history and no available information on it... but it does exist, so obviously there's something weird about it. They, of course, decide to go.
So they go to Miranda, only it's a planet that's pretty much surrounded by a Reaver 'colony', so they have to disguise Serenity as a Reaver ship to get through... all nasty-like. They get on the planet and it's... well, it's like a ghost town, only all the corpses are just sitting around. The whole planet is covered with cities, looks completely normal, only everywhere there are corpses just sitting there. No bullet wounds, no broken limbs, just... dead. And decaying. It's nasty.
They eventually track down a weak signal to find a Alliance ship with a vid on it... A research team went there and was sending back her last information about the planet. Turns out that Miranda was an experiment, with the government putting in a 'calming' gas drug in the air systems to make the settlers less likely to rebel... The inhabitants stopped caring enough to fight, then they stopped caring enough to go to work, then they stopped caring enough to eat, and live... and just died where they sat. Very creepy.
And then the hammer - that was only about 90% of the population. The other 10% reacted in reverse to the drug, going homicidally insane and inhuman.
Yes, the Alliance created the Reavers. A side effect, but still... they fucking created the Reavers. No wonder big secret hush-hush, eh? So the Serenity folks take the vid with them, wanting to take it to a friend they have ("Mr. Universe," one of the dumbest parts of the movie, but oh well he serves a purpose... he's a big 'net junkie, basically, and can hack into the whole core and broadcast the vid everywhere. Of course, because they had gone to see him before, though, the spy and a whole armada of Alliance ships are there waiting with a trap. But also of course, Mal sees that this is going to happen...
So they fly back through the Reaver 'colony,' and when they're almost all the way through, they turn around and blow up one of the ships. This of course causes the entire Reaver colony to start following them... which means that when Serenity shows up in the skies, facing the Alliance armada, it has a Reaver armada following and the two big groups clash in a FUCKING AWESOME space fight!
Serenity, not wanting to fight but just to get to the surface so they can broadcast the signal, does some amazing flying in the hands of Wash to get away from both the Alliance and the Reavers and get to the surface. It's this amazing sequence of awesome flying... Wash has been pretty much just the comic relief for the whole movie, and he gets his five minutes of fame doing some seriously fucking amazing flying. I mean really. You're on the edge of your seat as he maneouvers around ships, and then the engines are cut out and he goes to backup, but there's not enough power to land and he has to do this crazy skid landing but they make it!! And everyone's looking around amazed, doing the "omg we made it, we're alive" thing, and Wash makes the funny remark, and everyone's laughing and we all love him.
And then a Reaver ship pierces a huge metal 'claw' through the hull and impales Wash. That quickly. One moment you're smiling and going, "Woo Wash!" and the next, if you're me, you're literally screaming as you favorite character suddenly dies a horribly brutal death after being the hero of the hour.
I can't stress this part enough. I screamed, I was in shock, and then I started sobbing pretty much throughout the rest of the movie. But that's just me, maybe you won't take it as hard. But... damn.
Anyway, Zoe is of course also freaking out, but Mal realizes the Reavers are about to overtake them and drags everyone out and into the complex Mr. Universe, fighting the whole way of course. Mal takes the vid and continues on alone, leaving the others to set up a blockade against the hordes of incoming Reavers, no one expecting to get out alive. They just want to do what's right and get out the vid.
Mr. Universe's stuff has all been destroyed and he's dead, of course, but he has managed to leave Mal a message as to a special hidden transmitter that Mal goes after. Of course, super-secret spy guy shows up and gets the message as well, and follows Mal there.
The others are holding their own in front of a blast door, that being their last line of defense, trying to keep the Reavers out first. Kaylee is nervous at first, and then Simon takes the last moments of his life to admit that he regrets not 'being with her' 'in the sex way' (his words, then hers) and she gets the courage to fight back. ;)
Zoe, crazy with grief, leaves cover and goes to tackle some Reavers face-to-face, getting split up the back from ass-to-neck with a knife of some kind and eventually hauled back under cover. Jayne is shot in the shoulder and Kaylee takes some kind of poison wound, and everyone retreats behind the blast door... but it doesn't close all the way! Something is jamming it. Also, Simon left his medical bag out where the Reavers are, and as he stands to look for it, gets shot in the chest. Things are looking grim for our friends. River leans over Simon and says, "You've always taken care of me... now it's my turn," and dives out of the hole in the door, grabbing Simon's bag and tossing it in before removing the jam in the mechanism and disappearing under a horde of Reavers as the door closes in front of her.
Mal and the badass fight, Mal previously at a disadvantage but now having something he believes in to fight for (kind of the point of the movie for him, having belief.) However, he still gets a sword in the gut. Then the spy uses a trick he used earlier in the movie involving punching someone in a specific set of nerves that apparently paralyzes them completely. It's the end for Mal... until he suddenly moves and totally lays out the spy. Turns out he lost that nerve cluster to a piece of shrapnel long ago in the war. ;) Mal doesn't kill the guy but rather ties him up to watch the vid being broadcast, promising that this is his desired "world without sin" (remember that from earlier?)
There are shots of River fighting for her life amongst hordes of Reavers, kicking ass in her specially trained way... Not as Matrix as I thought. Very good. But the odds are crazily overwhelming...
Mal rejoins the others in their hidey-hole, noting the injuries of everyone and the absense of River. Right as the others are trying to explain what happened to her, the blast door opens... to the TOTAL MONEY SHOT of River, standing very Buffy-like, a knife in one hand and an axe in the other, and PILES of Reaver bodies dead all around her. SO going to be a LJ icon.
Before anyone can say anything, the wall behind her explodes and a bunch of Alliance operatives pour in with their guns trained at her, telling her to drop her weapons, and asking on their radios for the kill order from SuperSecretSpy. She squeezes the axe, a finger tightens on a trigger... and Spyman says, "Stand down!" Turns out that Mal's vid seriously crumbled his worldview and he, now a shell of a man, can't think of anything to do other than let them go.
There's a short, sweet funeral for Mr. Universe, Book, and Wash (see me? STILL SOBBING), but everyone else has healed up and doing okay. Zoe wears a beautiful dress. There's this great moment after the funeral when everyone is getting back aboard the ship and Mal asks Zoe, "How's she doing?" and Zoe says, "She's had an awful hard fight, sir, but she'll fly," and of course it's them talking about Zoe herself while pretending to talk about the ship.
Oh and switch to shot of Kaylee and Simon making out, then falling over into her bunk... and then River peeks down from the ceiling!! Meep.
Mal gets in the pilot's seat to take off, and looks to the side and asks, "So, are you going to play co-pilot for me?" and it's River in the co-pilot seat. She smiles at him, takes the controls, and ZOOM Serenity takes off into the air. He's all like, ok ok you're a genius I get it. But then he says, "Do you know what the first rule of flying is? Actually, I don't need to tell you, because you know what I'm going to say anyway," and she says, "I like to hear you say it anyway." And Mal says, "Love. You take a ship into the air and you don't love her, and she won't fly. Love is what keeps her in the air when she should be crashing, what keeps her together when she could be falling apart." Etc etc, I can't remember the whole thing, but you know what kind of stuff it is. Then Serenity flies off, and a piece of metal flies off of the ship and into the camera and CREDITS.
WASH DIES WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :( Fuckers. I'm going to go cry some more now.
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on 24 Jun 2005 14:19 (UTC)