Should true Christians own cats?

[juldea]

Those wacky Jehovah's Witnesses.

My favorite bits:

There are numerous reasons why a loyal dedicated servant of God should use his Bible-trained conscience to arrive at a proper understanding of why cats are not advisable as pets or companions for Christians.

The demeanor of a cat is seen by many honest-hearted observers as reflecting some supernatural, unnatural proclivity towards malice or evil. And, it is a well-known fact that cats are impossible to tame, teach or raise in the truth. The cat has a rebellious, independent spirit. While the animal itself may be unaware of this tragic condition, it serves only its true master - Satan, the Devil.

Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household: coughing up fur balls, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) and widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices, substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on. What sort of example does this give our young ones endeavoring to faithfully serve Jehovah?

Also, a big long rant about how cat owners have an obligation to cats as dependents, so they should be dealt with according to Biblical suggestions for dependents... which, they quote, are generally things about taking out your unfaithful children into a field and stoning them until death. But, just in case, "we can take no legal responsibility for anything which results from your voluntary application of your interpretation of such Biblical principles as you may believe that we have brought to your attention."

...

Link thanks to kobold. Who better not kill my cats.

Comments

[en-ki.livejournal.com]

I am rocking back and forth and telling myself that's a parody.

Let go throught this one by one

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household: coughing up fur balls, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?)

Have they ever seen a dog? Ever? Or seen on lick it's ownass or help another dog out with that bit? Or heard the one about the chick and the dog and they peanut butter?

urination on the floor,

Puppies. Cats tend to be pretty fastidious until they're old, and vene then, they try as hard as they can. And also, puppies. And babies.

vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum)

Bunnies.

and widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices,

Wow. Animals enter into matrimony? Any of them? Really? Why haven't *I* ever been invited to these things?

substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness,
They have never seen hfcougar's guiena pig go after parsley, obviously.

stealing food from the table,
Dogs, babies. Teenagers. Does having teenagers promote devil worship?

producing ungodly sounds,
Babies. Teenagers.

excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus,
I better get offline right now. Whoever commented in kobald's journal is right: the internet is a tool of the devil. the JWs said so.

the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night,

Right.... so, unholy business during the day. Got it. So long as we're clear.

Re: Let go throught this one by one

[juldea.livejournal.com]

UNHOLY USE OF ITALICS!!

You must be stoned now.

Re: Let go throught this one by one

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

:P Sorry. I tried.

Re: Let go throught this one by one

[sammid.livejournal.com]

this has gotta be a freakin joke??

Re: Let go throught this one by one

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

It's Jehovah's Witnesses. They don't know how to joke.

Re: Let go throught this one by one

[ezrarashkae.livejournal.com]

And yes, teenagers DO lead to devil worship , on my own humble opinion. :)

[christhegeek.livejournal.com]

This would explain why Nightlight crawls into bed with me at night and whispers Evilllllll, EEEEEEEVILLLLL!

[kobold.livejournal.com]

I like Matrix too much to kill her.

Pixel... well... she's had a good run.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

noooooooo!

[siderea]

Is it just me, or is the whole East/West WWIII thing shaping up to between Cat People and Dog People?

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Hrm. Bush has dogs... does he have a cat, too?

[ezrarashkae.livejournal.com]

This is GREAT hun.... hope you don't mind I'd like to put this into my LJ...... Specially with all the evils of the cats I just had to watch for a couple of weeks.

And they're GONE! ::Dances::