family and my monkeysphere

[juldea]

I had the revelation earlier that my family is not in my monkeysphere. And yeah, I feel bad about this, because my background and culture says that one should have their families in their monkeyspheres. But... they're just not. :/ Every few weeks, I'll have a sudden thought of, "Oh, it's Mom's birthday soon," or, "Hm, I haven't talked to my father in a while," and I'll absolutely make plans to send a card or make a phone call, but an hour later I will have forgotten and won't remember again for another few weeks, when I will feel guilty for having forgotten. And boy, I am certainly in their monkeyspheres, so they think about me all the time or something. It's an interesting disparity and one that doesn't do anything to make me feel like a good person. Blegh.

It's getting close to Christmas, and my one thought of visiting my brother and sister-in-law for Dec 25 fell through because I didn't pursue it enough before they made other plans. Now I don't know if I should offer to my father that I could go visit his family if he went halvsies on the tickets with me, or just shrug and spend Christmas here. The holiday doesn't mean anything to me, and the visiting... I look forward to it, but not THAT much? I dunno. It's a holiday, and that's nice, and going on trips is fun, but I guess there's nothing in particular about visiting my dad that I look forward to. Although visiting my little half-brother would be fun.

I bet I'm not at all the first person to consider naming my LJ friends page "the monkeysphere."