little rant

[juldea]

I'm selfish, and I'm damn proud of it.

I use that word, as well as 'egotist', much the way I use the word 'liberal' to say I am liberal. I use it in the original, pure, untainted by overtones sense. Maybe that's silly and idealistic of me and I should get with the times and give up trying to save these words. For now, I feel the need to rant.

The word 'selfish' is an adjective describing someone (or something) who is working for his own gain.

So what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting yourself to prosper. I work so that I can have good things like a computer and a nice car, because these things make me happy. I date Jason because he makes me feel good. I play music because I like it. I joined a gym because I love the way getting in shape makes me feel.

There is nothing wrong with being selfish. Working towards your pure happiness and contentedness with life is a good thing. What are your options? Working to make yourself suffer? To be sad? I can't describe how loathsome and dishonorable I think it is to sacrifice your own happiness for something that will not give you any pleasure, happiness, or benefit at all.

This is where people yell at me, and I tell them: If I gave up all my possessions, money, even submitted to torture to save the life of Jason, I am giving those things up so that something that is incredibly important to my happiness and my living continues to exist. It's NOT a sacrifice. It's bargaining. Consequently, even giving up my life to save his - which is a situation I hope to never be in, and certainly don't plan for - is justified if I knew that he, someone I value greatly and want everything for, would live and prosper and be happy.

Note: Even my desire for Jason to be happy, etc, is purely selfish. I get in a good mood when I am around him and he is cheerful. His existence is something that I like and I don't want to go away. He makes me happy. A happy he makes me even more happy.

So anyway, to the twisted part. Somehow, the word selfish (and egotist) have come to indicate that in working for your own benefit, you're actively working against other's benefit.

I don't think this is necessary at all. To me, happiness is guiltless and earned purely on your own. For all I know, I could be the only one who feels thousands of times better when schoolwork that I work hard on and put effort into makes an A than when schoolwork I get someone else to do for me, or I copy, etc, makes an A. Where's the benefit in the second one, really... It got me a letter, but I think we can all agree that if you graduate with some nice letters but haven't actually learned anything you're not going to feel good about the past 4(5,6) years.

Heh, I think I'm running out of steam. :) This sudden grip overtook me to rant about something I think is fundamentally wrong with the Average Joe's way of thinking (thank Tiffany I think, hehe).

So, I'm selfish. I'm an egotist. I'm going to go soon and eat breakfast, so that I have food in my stomach that tastes good and makes me healthy. Then I'm going to play on the computer more, because it makes me happy. I'll go to the gym and feel even better. What I do after that, I don't know, but I can promise you that it'll be for my benefit.

Comments

[dayeaux.livejournal.com]

In my concept of personally trying to be more selfless the idea is not to deny myself things that are good and essential to my well-being. My concept is that I stop thinking only of myself and look to the interests of others more. When I think of this concept I think of the way a good parents tends tehir child. If there is one brownie left, even if it's the parent's favorite dessert, the child gets the brownie because the parent views the child's needs first. Ofcourse taking this theory into a very extreme practice would get nothing accomplished because that would mean such tings as never getting to go through check-out lines at grocery stores because you have to left *everyone* go first, etc etc. I just think as a general rule the world would be better if people would think outside of themselves more often and be kind and gracious to others. So in my definition of the word, I don't want to be selfish, but I guess that's more self-centered isn't it? I'm still trying to come up with my distinction between the two.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Here's how I view your example: there's one brownie left. The parent subconsciously decides, "What would make me happier? Eating the brownie, or seeing the smile on little Jimmy's face when he gets to eat it?" In my world, making that decision and following it is what's important. Sometimes what seems to be the thing that would benefit most you really isn't.

There really aren't that many situations where people truly consider going against their own benefit, but my problem is that people are encouraged to think that way. You're told that it's GOOD to not think for yourself - you said yourself that you're trying not to as much. I don't see why it's a problem. I think about myself when I recycle, give an old lady a seat on the subway, etc. If someone said that it was a sacrifice on my part, that would make me feel icky. I do it because I WANT to.