connections
9 December 2003 20:54![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
juldeaI've had this post rolling around in my brain for a while now, and now I'm finally posting it. It's not finalized as a concept by any means, but it's at the point where I'm willing to accept input.
There are four different ways to connect to people: mentally, emotionally, physically, and romantically.
People with whom you connect to mentally are peers. You can discuss intellectual concepts with them. They aren't necessarily at the same intelligence/education level as you, but you have the ability to communicate across the gap to the point that the discussions are not too difficult for either of you to carry on. These people I will call acquaintances (among other things - when I say in this post what I call them, I'm referring to people with whom I only share this connection).
People with whom you connect to emotionally are supports. You can cry on them (or whatever emotional release is to you). You can let them see you naked; not undressed, but emotionally vulnerable. Not everyone trusts enough to have a large group of these people, or even a group at all. I call these people confidants.
People with whom you connect to physically are partners. Without being too graphic, these are people who enjoy the same physical activities you do. I clarify this as being semi-sexual because there's the 'connection' aspect. Someone you simply love to rollerskate with is connected in more of a mental manner, I think. You aren't causing the physical sensation the other is feeling in that case. This doesn't have to be distinctly sexual; kissing and backrubs and such are non-sexual activities that involve a physical connection. But they are sexual in a deeper sense - I guess it all depends on your definition (this is one of those parts that isn't nailed down yet, if you couldn't tell). In a more explicit sense, these people share the same kink as you have. You are connected physically in the sensations that you enjoy causing each other. Anyway. I call these people ... well, I haven't been in a situation where I've only had this connection with someone, so I don't have a word for it. Perhaps I'll think one up.
Then, there's the romantic connection. This one is hard to describe, but most everyone knows what it is. It's that strange energy a person has that draws your mind to them at any given time. It goes beyond caring for them... It's the feeling that everything that is you is spurred on to even greater things because of their presence in your life. I don't feel like I'm explaining it well, but I assume you know what I'm talking about. It's a spark. And the people with whom you share this connection are partners.
There are endless combinations of these four connections that show up in the people that you interact with daily. Most people you don't connect with at all, many you connect with in only one way, some in two ways, fewer in three, and it's monumental when you find someone with whom you connect in all four ways.
And it's even less likely that they feel the exact same connection to you. These connections aren't two way - people I feel I can cry on don't all turn around and cry on me when things are going bad.
So. There is an incredibly large number of people in the world, but when you get down to it you have a chance to meet and get to know an incredibly small fraction of that. And in that fraction, how small is the amount of people you can feel connected to in all four ways? Just a few? A couple? Only one? And out of that, calculate the possibility they are feel connected to you in the same manner.
Will I have to end up settling? If I'm not willing to settle, should I just give up now?
...I shouldn't have been drinking while typing this out.
There are four different ways to connect to people: mentally, emotionally, physically, and romantically.
People with whom you connect to mentally are peers. You can discuss intellectual concepts with them. They aren't necessarily at the same intelligence/education level as you, but you have the ability to communicate across the gap to the point that the discussions are not too difficult for either of you to carry on. These people I will call acquaintances (among other things - when I say in this post what I call them, I'm referring to people with whom I only share this connection).
People with whom you connect to emotionally are supports. You can cry on them (or whatever emotional release is to you). You can let them see you naked; not undressed, but emotionally vulnerable. Not everyone trusts enough to have a large group of these people, or even a group at all. I call these people confidants.
People with whom you connect to physically are partners. Without being too graphic, these are people who enjoy the same physical activities you do. I clarify this as being semi-sexual because there's the 'connection' aspect. Someone you simply love to rollerskate with is connected in more of a mental manner, I think. You aren't causing the physical sensation the other is feeling in that case. This doesn't have to be distinctly sexual; kissing and backrubs and such are non-sexual activities that involve a physical connection. But they are sexual in a deeper sense - I guess it all depends on your definition (this is one of those parts that isn't nailed down yet, if you couldn't tell). In a more explicit sense, these people share the same kink as you have. You are connected physically in the sensations that you enjoy causing each other. Anyway. I call these people ... well, I haven't been in a situation where I've only had this connection with someone, so I don't have a word for it. Perhaps I'll think one up.
Then, there's the romantic connection. This one is hard to describe, but most everyone knows what it is. It's that strange energy a person has that draws your mind to them at any given time. It goes beyond caring for them... It's the feeling that everything that is you is spurred on to even greater things because of their presence in your life. I don't feel like I'm explaining it well, but I assume you know what I'm talking about. It's a spark. And the people with whom you share this connection are partners.
There are endless combinations of these four connections that show up in the people that you interact with daily. Most people you don't connect with at all, many you connect with in only one way, some in two ways, fewer in three, and it's monumental when you find someone with whom you connect in all four ways.
And it's even less likely that they feel the exact same connection to you. These connections aren't two way - people I feel I can cry on don't all turn around and cry on me when things are going bad.
So. There is an incredibly large number of people in the world, but when you get down to it you have a chance to meet and get to know an incredibly small fraction of that. And in that fraction, how small is the amount of people you can feel connected to in all four ways? Just a few? A couple? Only one? And out of that, calculate the possibility they are feel connected to you in the same manner.
Will I have to end up settling? If I'm not willing to settle, should I just give up now?
...I shouldn't have been drinking while typing this out.