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[personal profile] juldea
As I slip more and more into whatever odd emotion that is that seems to be sucking me down these days, you'll probably see me posting a lot with just random thoughts. I feel like I'm splashing around in water, trying to find dry land. Or maybe that's me overdramatizing life again.

Every time I walk up to her, Matrix looks up at me and give a heart-breakingly adorable, "Mew?" I almost can't help but pick her up and give her a big kiss each time. I think she realizes how cute she is and how much of a hold she has on me.

Speaking of holds on me... sigh.... I can't let it go. I finished Wizard and Glass, I put it on the bookshelf and haven't touched it since, I've even read another book since then (Anthem, very short novella by Ayn Rand), but I still can't get it out of my head. The words of the climax scene speak in my mind when I'm lying in bed, or staring at the mud, or generally any time I'm not specifically focusing on something else. Even at the dentist's while I was being examined with a wide mouth I started thinking of Susan screaming, "I love thee, Roland!"... do you know how hard it is to hold back tears with your mouth open? It's not something people often have to do. My mind tells me that all I need to do is pick the books up again, read the whole scene again, cry over it again, and it will stop playing back the recording... for now. But I know that's not true. I know that those words will continue to cycle through my head unless I find some way to conquer them, or push them out. Maybe it's time to read Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged again... those run phrases through my head as well, but they are either thought-provoking or happy phrases, things that I like to stick up as quotes for other people to see.

Why is it that the word quixotic comes from Don Quixote, yet quixotic starts with a "kwik" and Quixote starts with a "key"? I've been looking up definitions for quixotic to try and get a wide overview of the word (www.onelook.com rules) and this is the definition I like the best: having intentions or ideas that are admirable but not practical. I think there are definitely times when I am quixotic.

The skin on my legs is STILL peeling.

Well, Jason's going to call sometime soon (I hope), so I'll wrapitup. (that looks right as all one word)

December 2012

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