The Brass Player's Heirarchy

[juldea]

I found this in my old files.

The French Horn:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to god

The Trumpet:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with god

The Trombone:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with god if a special request is approved

The Bass Trombone:
Barely clears a quonset hut
Loses tug of war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by god

The Baritone:
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals

The Cornet:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to wals

The Flugelhorn:
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says, "Look at the choo-choo!"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself

The Tuba:
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
Is god


I didn't write that - I was given it the way it is :)

Comments

[reify.livejournal.com]

Ass out of you and me.

Geek USA is track 8 on the double platinum album Siamese Dream.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but this is a made-especially-for-me CD of rare demos, live recordings, etc. This isn't the regular studio version :)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Additional info: the folder that version is in is titled "Pluggelectric".

[reify.livejournal.com]

ah, cool. Google says that's a bootleg from a concert in 1991, but various sources disagree as to where the concert took place. Almost certainly somewhere called Dronten, which may be either in the Netherlands or Belgium.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

If you like the pumpkins, feel free to request a copy of this CD. It was given to me by a friend in California who introduced me to the band years and years ago.

[flyingindie.livejournal.com]

"Geek USA" isn't rare, but "Terrapin" is.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

see what i said to reify