Inter402 is Jason

[juldea]

Inter402 (11:36:16 PM): you're trying to pin the blame on something
Inter402 (11:36:30 PM): and you're very skeptical of getting outside help besides your friends or yourself
Inter402 (11:36:36 PM): I think that's a mistake
Inter402 (11:36:42 PM): on both counts
Inter402 (11:36:57 PM): first because you're trying to find one single problem to nail down, and it's probably a lot of things
Inter402 (11:37:17 PM): secondly, because none of the people you are asking for advice are people who should be giving you the kind of advice you really need

Discuss. No, really. Someone write a comment, please. One that relates to this discussion.

Comments

[goldbug.livejournal.com]

i wish i knew how i could help you with your unhappiness. but i don't really know what's supposed to work in general, so i'll tell you what helped me. this will be a list with no particular significance to the order, so i think i will make it a bulleted list. except i don't remember the html for that offhand so i'll do it in a ghetto text way.

* friends who kept on being my friend even though i'm sure i was a drag, who kept dragging me out (literally and figuratively) to do the stuff i needed to get done, and to do fun things.

* antidepressants.

* time.

* acid. (i really debated actually listing that, but hey...my parents aren't reading this, and anyone else who has a problem with it can go suck on a log.) it was instrumental in helping me realize that the world is a beautiful place. (this is also the "not necessarily recommended as a good solution to anyone" thing on the list.)

* travel. seeing new places and getting different perspectives.

* figuring out what i really want to do in life. this was in some sense part of the unhappiness problem, and also a problem unto itself with many things contributing to its solution.

* trying to do things my way, and not the "normal" way that the rest of the world expects me to take. moving away from obligations and expectations that weren't constructive.

and that's what i can think of at the moment.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Thank you for being helpful.

Certainly the first one I -seem- like I have... Sometimes. Rachel used to do a very good job of getting me out of bed, but she's not here anymore.

Time will happen whether I want it to or not...

And everything else takes time. Time for me at the moment means money - in 2 months, I'll start making more money, and can do things with it. Maybe see a doctor and go on anti-depressants, but as Jason and I discussed, I'm wary of psychiatrists (which was REALLY what I wanted everyone to discuss, but no one seems to understand anything I write or say these days). Going to Boston next summer will be good travel, with new experiences mixed up with old.

But what gets to happen while I wait for all of that time? Do I lie in bed? Work to make enough money to sustain myself and my responsibilities? How do I get over the humps now, as well as make them never come back?

Acid would be my last-ditch resort if none of the others worked first ;)

Re:

[goldbug.livejournal.com]

much as i approve of it in general, i don't suggest spending TOO much time in bed when you're unhappy. get out and do stuff to distract yourself and maybe get cheered up when you are unhappy. bed should be a happy-time lovely sleepy luxurious place. and sometimes it's okay to curl up there when you are unhappy and fall asleep and wake up to betterness.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

But it's warm and comfortable. It's a great place for escaping and passing time. Not all I do in bed is sleep - I read a lot too.

[vambot5.livejournal.com]

I can't speak for most people, but I get depressed from spending a lot of time in bed. if on a saturday I sleep until 2:00, I feel depressed when I wake up, like I've been wasteful.

as for therapists, I have mixed feelings about them. if I honestly felt like I would benefit from seeing one to the tune of the amount I would pay to see one, then I would probably go. they may not know all about you from a couple of meetings, but most of the psychologists I have known have very good at what they do, and tend to understand people, not just a specific kind of person, and would be able to help. I've considered going before, but managed to suffer my depression through its low and no longer feel the need (interestingly enough, about 6 months later I learned that depression runs in my family). I wouldn't hesitate if I found myself in that place again. one thing I would keep in mind: if I don't feel like they're being helpful, I don't have to go. you don't sign a contract saying "I will come to you for n months" or anything. quit if you don't like the person you're seeing. if you can't trust him or her, that's alright. you can keep looking until you find someone that makes you comfortable. I always thought that was reassuring.

referring to goldbug's comment, though, elise went to a scary therapist who thought that all her problems were due to a poor relationship with God. I would avoid those people like the plague.

Re:

[juldea.livejournal.com]

re: the very last paragraph

don't worry, I plan on it ;)