Best Wedding Idea Ever

[juldea]

This is going to be annoying to type with one hand because it is so long, but I'm going to anyway because it is so awesome. (I did look into Dasher, but it has a high learning curve. Making this a voice post would be too scattered to follow, too long for you all to listen and transcribe, and reference too many names for the auto-transcriber to do it. Basically, I'm gonna type.)

First off, a quick explanation. But if you just want to skip onto my great idea, you don't have to read this.

I daydream/think about having a wedding fairly often. I have no reason to think I'll have one anytime in the near future, but I do expect to have one someday, and I put a lot of importance into the idea. I am fully aware that many of my thoughts on the matter of weddings and marriages have been formed over my life due to "society," and I'm fine with that. Hopefully you will put faith in me that I have thought over what I want for my life and why I want it. Alternately, ask away, and I can explain. :)

But anyway, a wedding. Ultimately I want a wedding because I want to throw a huge party someday that all of my friends, relatives, and other unsorted loved ones will come to from wherever they are. I want all these people to meet my chosen betrothed, because they are all parts of my life and he or she is, too, and I feel that having them all meet at least once is important. I want to tie in my past with my future. I put a lot of weight on the "deciding to make a vow of forever" part of it, and feel that requires particular celebration and observation from all these various parts of my life. I also admit that weddings are generally known for being huge parties with the happy couple being the center of attention, and I want a huge party about me. Oh yes, I do. :)

If you didn't read the cut: this post is about a hypothetical event.

The problem is, the people who would be invited to a wedding I have are scattered. I have very important friends on the west coast, most of my relatives and more important friends in the center of the US, and of course my current home is here in Boston. Assuming nothing about whomever I end up having the wedding with, any place I decide to hold the event will cause a bunch of people a bunch of hassle. If I held it here, it's unlikely that people from the west coast would be able to make it, and neither would lots of friends from the Mid-West and many of my family members (including my elderly grandfather who doesn't fly.) It would be equally silly to hold a wedding in Oklahoma and exclude most of my life here in Boston. It's stupid to plan a whole wedding on the other coast where only a few (yet important!) people live, and the idea of holding it somewhere equally inopportune for all is hamstringing myself.

While washing dishes today and thinking about this, I pondered whether a road trip to visit the west-coasters could perhaps be the honeymoon. Suddenly, I had a flash of insight. Of course! A mobile wedding!

Why have one big party when a few smaller parties will do? The main part I want, anyway, is the reception. The vows don't have to be viewed by anyone but whomever is legally required. So combine the reception with the honeymoon and travel the states (or the world) having a reception in each part! One "wedding" here, with all the Boston and other east-coast folks. Then road trip to Oklahoma for the "wedding" there, featuring all the relatives and high school and college friends. Finally, road trip out to California for the final "wedding" with folk out there.

Bonuses of this plan:
* More assurance that people will be able to make the wedding, since seeing the people is what's important to me. Societal pressure can only get someone so far to attending their friend's wedding if they're on the wrong coast and not rolling in money.
* Multiple smaller parties should be about the same cost (and stress) as one huge one, yes? Especially since I don't give a damn about things like flowers, decorations, a fancy cake, and other things that often drive up the price. (Note: I've never actually thrown a wedding to know where the price comes from.)
* Instead of one expensive fancy bridal gown that will only get worn once, 3+ nice pretty party dresses that could feasibly be worn again somewhere!
* Ease in inviting internet friends.
* Instead of trying to spend quality time with all these old friends and family over the space of one day (or weekend), it's spread out to be able to spend time with all of them!

I am super excited about my great plan. It helps that I don't actually have to think about implementing it any time soon, just daydream about how well it would work. However, since problems are best solved early, let me know if there's something that would go horribly wrong that you see but I haven't. I would of course require on-site party planners, but I think I could get those. :)

Comments

[goldbug.livejournal.com]

You could even just have one pretty party dress that you wore for all the locations.
It sounds like a fun idea!

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Exactly! :)

[freerange-snark.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a great plan! I, also, always figured on having a tiny, tiny wedding and using the money I save to have a huge reception and invite everyone I know. Of course, pretty much everyone I know lives on the East Coast, so it'd be easy for me. For scattered guests, scattered parties makes a lot of sense to me.

And for what it's worth, I don't think wanting marriage and a wedding automatically makes you a Slave to The Man^TM.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Military brat + moving halfway across country after college + internet friends = scattered guests! :)

[anitra.livejournal.com]

Makes perfect sense to me... and you know I had a traditional wedding :) But there were only a handful of people NOT in the Northeast (a few friends out on the west coast, and some family members from Michigan). Everyone else drove in, the farthest being from my hometown - a long drive, but not expensive/prohibitive.

It will probably be slightly more stress in the planning stages, because you'll be trying to juggle details for multiple venues. But not caring about certain details (decorations, DJ, photographer, food, etc. - pick a few) will make it easier.

[eustacia42.livejournal.com]

Awesome. Maybe I'll do that for my second wedding (if i ever get to have one), lol.

[mr-teem.livejournal.com]

Heh. Thought of that. Twice, even. (nikin and I were thinking about giving out "wedding tour" T-shirts as favors, too.)

citabria and I were thinking about getting married somewhere special and intimate, then having threeish or so receptions. Then, my relatives all chimed in with "Of course we'll come to Las Vegas to see you get married!" which would have really blown the budget. That wasn't the only problem we saw, though. For one thing, we want to wear the shiny clothes and have everyone see us. :-) Trying to arrange three (or more) receptions can be a lot of hassle and it would get expensive. That said, one of my relatives had the big ceremony/reception in Maryland and a smaller reception for the relatives who wouldn't couldn't travel in Michigan.

(Of course, if they're just parties, you'll save some money. All the books say that the reception itself, food, drink, hall, etc., will be about half the cost.)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

It would be nice to have semi-coherent pictures, basically something better than everyone having disposable cameras, but otherwise yeah, a lot of those details aren't important to me. I can handle the music myself if necessary, after all. ;) Food would be one of those "if we can afford it, it'll be nice, if not, bbq!" types of things. OK, maybe not bbq, but some kind of low-key catering like that.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the focal point here is making the ceremony absolutely be a small thing, with the reception-parties being the only place money is spent and people are invited. Another money saver here is I've heard lots of places that serve the details of a wedding - photographer, venue, food, etc - will jack up prices for "weddings," but I can just bill this as a party to them, say a reunion. A union! ;)

[oddharmonic.livejournal.com]

Re cake, I would be willing to give you a cake for the reception tour stop in Oklahoma. I might be able to help you out with a party location in California, too. We have family all over the state. And circus people. (:

One of the major expenditures of my sister's wedding was the reception venue, which was something like $800/hour.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Woo! Well, if this ever becomes something I start to plan, I'll poke at you. ;)

[shadowravyn.livejournal.com]

Personally, I judge you and your desire to have a traditional wedding. Judge judge judge!!!

[juldea.livejournal.com]

*tears of shame*