Things I Learned From My Patients

[juldea]

I have wasted WAY too much time at work today (y'know, at the hospital) due to metahacker's posting of a forum thread on the Student Doctor Network: Things I Learned From My [Emergency Room] Patients. I can't even begin to start copy/pasting the best ones here, because there are SO MANY.

The link did change on me once already, but if you start at http://forums.studentdoctor.net and scroll down to Emergency Medicine, it's one of the top threads there.

Now, to go read more about "Peanut Butter Balls!" ("Do you mean phenobarbitol?")

Comments

[baronbrian.livejournal.com]

It took me four days but I read every single entry on that (up until yesterday). My favorite still has to be the bit about staying away from Some Guy and not to stand on a street corner minding my own business.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Never let someone known for seizures perform oral sex on you.

Also, shoving an entire chicken into your vagina, then safety-pinning it shut, will not help you get pregnant.

[baronbrian.livejournal.com]

You know, as a man, I'm generally careful of what happens to my johnson. And the thought of putting him into the mouth of a person who might suddenly start clamping down and not letting go while flailing back and forth just makes me want to curl up and cry.

That chicken thing just about made me physically ill. There's another one that's further down the list (around the 30+ page mark) that DID make me sick to my stomach.

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

SOCMOB. Yes, definitely has to enter the language. >8-)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. I'm only at page 12...

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Absolutely.

[zonereyrie.livejournal.com]

Oh hell yeah, I found that last week or so and read all (then) 36 pages in one sitting. It wasn't my most productive day, especially with the convulsive laughter.

[outlander.livejournal.com]

This is such a nice time sink...I am around page 18...and done for today. More tomorrow.

[oddharmonic.livejournal.com]

Dadgum it, this made me laugh so hard my kidneys hurt again.

...

We watched Jerry Springer at lunchtime today and spent most of the time one group was airing their grievances (topic "I Slept With Your Whole Family") trying to guess whether a particular guest was stoned or just really, really stupid. I must avoid watching show again anytime soon so my head doesn't implode.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

stoned or just really, really stupid.

Possibly both.

España es la caña

[equipob.livejournal.com]

Hi Juldea
I'm Jaime and i live in Vitoria, Spain .....tarari, tarara, bla, bla.
walking on my working time i show your LJ. I'm working analising this THINGGGGGG. Yours is too polite like your tongue piercing.
Please to meet and Good Bless America and Spain. If He/She wants....