SCA resignation

[juldea]

It didn't take me long to gafiate, did it? Except that's not really what's happening. And I'm not really going to disappear, either. There's just other things that I need to get TO, and I have to decide on SOME part of my current social activities that I need to remove from focus. SCA has never really been my thing, after all - really only ever a vehicle for hanging out with my friends, but there are other opportunitites for that too (parties, Cons) which I'd want to attend anyway, so I'll just concentrate on clearing time out so that I'm able to make those.

So yeah, I'm... gatoting. Going Away To Other Things. Heh.

All this really means is that I won't bother putting "SCA Dance" on my calendar (like it's been doing much good to have it on there recently anyway) and I won't consider going to events unless there's something REALLY good happening, such that it overrides other considerations. That said, I'm piking out on Falling Leaves tomorrow... I am indeed sad about missing Commedia and the ball, but my apartment and my life are in such bitter neglect that I need to reclaim the weekend.

One last thing - I'm not happy about this, and in fact have had a less than stellar day working my way around to this decision. My hackles are already up, as I (sadly) expect to get a lot of shit from my 'friends' because I've made a decision about what to do with my life. (Can you read the defensiveness in my text yet?) Please think about what you say before you say it, and analyze it from the position of someone expecting to see negatives, and change it if that's not what you intend to get across to me. :P

Comments

[brewergnome.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you've found a need for prioritizing and have chosen to remove a largely superfluous thing which doesn't give you what you need.

Wise idea.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[oakleaf-mirror.livejournal.com]

You have to do what your life needs. I GAFIAted for six years. The SCA will still be there if and when your life needs to include it again. Good luck, and I hope to see you at least occasionally.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the wisdom. :) I'm sure I'll be around... and on here!

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

First things first, if you did change your mind and decide to hit Falling Leaves tomorrow, you'd be disapointed- today, sadly, is Thursday.

This makes me sad, because SCA stuff is generally the only times I get to see you. I don't do Cons, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to do them for a while. I understand and all, but selfishly I am unhappy.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Crap, it's not Friday, huh. :(

I am all about making plans for getting together for dinner, going to a movie, etc etc. Stress-free hanging out. :) And as I said to gyzki, there's always Melville/Buttery stuff.

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

I know. I really wanted it to be Friday, too.

[tpau]

defien somethign good as a criteria for events :)

that reminds me i still need to scheduel timewith you inever see you anymroe

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Umm... Classes that specifically interest me (and not just "what can I take during this time slot,") a Commedia show would generally do it (just not this weekend,) a close friend being Autocrat or Feast M(aster|istress)... And, more than anything, things that I can't think of atm because part of the "something good"s are unexpected things :)

You see me much, MUCH more than anyone else aside from londo. Seriously. I hang out with you more than anyone else.

[tpau]

heh. well, you wnatto go to birkah, someoen you knwo is getign a thing, and to the bardic event, someoen you knwo is cookign feast (me). and um, in the fall i will be autocrating an EKU. no idea on teh comedia thing though :)

i do? seriously? i feel lieki never see you. e.g. i will not see you between now and nov 12th at this rate...

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Eh, I don't know if "getting a thing," is something I need to spend time/money/effort travelling out of state for, y'know? All I'd be there to do is congratulate them, and I can do that seeing them in Boston for dinner afterwards or something. I couldn't tell you now about the Bardic event, I need more info on who/what/when/where/why it is... same with EKU.

And yes, seriously. We've hung out a couple of times over the past month... which is more than anyone else. :P And I'll start seeing you monthly at Crossroads... Not that I want to get out of setting up times to meet you, just letting you know you're privileged ;)

[tpau]

i am special :)

speakignof crossroads, iam on the forums (but nto posting. i hav enot heard from Vance other that i will ehar back from him after he reviews my character. a ny idea if he is cool with it or what?

[juldea.livejournal.com]

No clue. Vance is the kind of guy who takes a while to respond to things, though!

Laf

[getoffended.livejournal.com]

I think you will find that I reply decently, but it's remembering to do it after I promise my self to go back to it that I am horrible at. I am the master procrastinator.

As for the Char I am A OK with it.

Re: Laf

[tpau]

yay :)

[karlean7.livejournal.com]

You've seen ME a few times in the past month! :D

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but that's randomly bumping into you at the bus stop!! :)

[eor1312.livejournal.com]

congrats on making a decision to take back your life.
your calendars always looked miserably overfilled to me.
im glad you are putting yourself first! :)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Aren't they crazy?! Heh. Yeah, I need to free up time on those.

[jester-king.livejournal.com]

Gotta take care of you and your life before devoting time to yuor escapes, I back ya up, baby

[juldea.livejournal.com]

I back ya up, baby

Not for the first time... >_>

heehee.

[jester-king.livejournal.com]

I always got your back, baby :-p

[eustacia42.livejournal.com]

I was only going to say good things.

Some people don't have the courage to say "no" to stuff, and they end up getting sucked (or suckered) into every little thing that comes their way, and then they get spread too thin, and stressed, and have no "me" time, and stuff. i'm sure you know how that is.

in any case, i salute you for looking at things objectively, weighing the pros and cons, and doing what you know needs to be done, in order to reclaim a bit of yourself back where it needs to be. :)

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Yes, I quite know how that is. Thanks for the good things. *hug*

[eustacia42.livejournal.com]

no problemo! :)

[gyzki.livejournal.com]

I'm not making it to dance practice myself as it is, which has usually been the only time I got to see you. So you go grrl, do what you gotta do, don't feel you need to be defensive--I just hope you keep up on LJ, so I don't totally lose touch with you.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

We'll still see each other at occasional Melville/Buttery events, I'm sure. :)

And yes, I will keep up with LJ. Promises.

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

Not having seen you for a while was actually part of the reason I decided to throw a Melville Keep party on Nov. 5. So now I really hope you can make it!

I (selfishly) miss not seeing you more often, but I certainly cannot fault your decision.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Um. I suppose it's bad news that it looks like I won't be able to make the Guy Fawkes' party, then? :(

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

Yes. I pout.

Maybe kestrell and I could do a double-date with you and londo some time? There's always some movie we've been meaning to see but haven't gotten around to yet...

[londo.livejournal.com]

This sounds reasonable, especially as we're now not going to be able to attend the Guy Fawkes party.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

I am definitely in favor of this option. What movie?

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

Taking this to email. Assuming I have a working email address for you...

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Hah! The LJ one worked as well as gmail. Verizon hasn't been in service for, um, since I moved in with Randy...

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

So, planning to reply to either one?

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

Hm. In hindsight, that was probably a rude thing to say, especially given your initial post that started this thread. Reply or not, in your own time. Just know that I am eager to see you.

No biggie

[cristovau.livejournal.com]

Most of the people I know have taken breaks of varying length. eck, I left entirely for three years. We'll be there if you feel the urge and we'll see you around if you don't.

Some of my favorite SCA folks I only see once a year. It is okay, even necessary, to take a break if you need it.

Re: No biggie

[juldea.livejournal.com]

:) I'll definitely see you around.

Good choices

[getoffended.livejournal.com]

Speaking from experience it's hard to cut things out of your life which may or may not be fulfilling. Only so many hours:( The important part is to keep in touch with those you want to from those activites. Even bringing them to other gatherings to help fill out the circle so to speak.

-Vance

Re: Good choices

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I haven't done that any time recently, have I? ;)

[tramissa.livejournal.com]

I've had to do a lot of prioritising as well - it sucks, but sometimes it has to be done and some things lose out.

It's not necessarily forever so don't despair too much..and if you're life is full enough to need to cut something out to have some 'me' time - then you are incredibly lucky!!