geek porno idea!
29 June 2004 14:10![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
juldeaStolen from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sin_vraal's 3k .plan.
Project: Nerd Porn Auteur, by Ernest Cline
I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies that are made for guys like me.
All the porn I've come across was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males. Men who like their women stupid and submissive. Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary.
Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected liposuctioned women, many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.
These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed f**k bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.
But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn. I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind: Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world is a woman who is smarter than you are.
You can have the whole cheerleading squad, I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses: Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework, and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her for hours and hours until she reluctantly asks if we can stop because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Smuma cum laude, baby! That is what I call erotic.
But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film? No. Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno. I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur. And the women in my porno movies will be the kind that drive nerds like me mad with desire.
I'm talking about the girls that used to f**k up the grading curve. The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society. Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs. Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses and chips on their shoulders.
My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes. My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.
In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked. They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and beat them repeatedly at chess and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.
Buy stock in some hand cream companies because there is about to be a major shortage.
And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no. There should be f**k films for my nerd brethren of all sexual orientations. Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."
This idea is a f*****g gold mine. I am gonna make millions, because this country is full of database programmers and electronics engineers and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need. And you can help...
If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry, and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet, then you are hired.
It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive. It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful...
And I will make you a star.
sin_vraal's 3k .plan.Project: Nerd Porn Auteur, by Ernest Cline
I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies that are made for guys like me.
All the porn I've come across was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males. Men who like their women stupid and submissive. Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary.
Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected liposuctioned women, many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.
These aren't real women. They're objects.
And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
These vacuum-headed f**k bunnies don't turn me on.
They disgust me.
And it's not that I'm against pornography.
I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
Fact.
"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
Guys need porn.
But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn. I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind: Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world is a woman who is smarter than you are.
You can have the whole cheerleading squad, I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses: Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
Oh yes.
First I want to copy her Trig homework, and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her for hours and hours until she reluctantly asks if we can stop because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
Smuma cum laude, baby! That is what I call erotic.
But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film? No. Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno. I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur. And the women in my porno movies will be the kind that drive nerds like me mad with desire.
I'm talking about the girls that used to f**k up the grading curve. The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society. Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs. Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses and chips on their shoulders.
My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes. My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.
In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked. They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and beat them repeatedly at chess and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.
Buy stock in some hand cream companies because there is about to be a major shortage.
And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no. There should be f**k films for my nerd brethren of all sexual orientations. Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."
This idea is a f*****g gold mine. I am gonna make millions, because this country is full of database programmers and electronics engineers and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need. And you can help...
If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry, and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet, then you are hired.
It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive. It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful...
And I will make you a star.
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no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 11:27 (UTC)I thought it was the greatest idea since pre-sliced bread. Unfortunately, my computer was having trouble and I couldn't bookmark it. *sigh*
Thanks for posting this, though - I had thought I'd lost it...
no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 11:36 (UTC)no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 13:13 (UTC)My image of hours of passionate love making doesn't leave me watching the clock to see how it fits into my schedule. Besides, any geek girl worth her salt will have TiVo so that Battlestar Galactica is waiting when the guy rolls over and starts snoring.
no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 13:31 (UTC)no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 13:36 (UTC)no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 15:10 (UTC)no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 15:12 (UTC)no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 15:17 (UTC)no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 15:32 (UTC)Okay, so I don't have all of Angel. Someday soon...
no subject
on 29 Jun 2004 17:48 (UTC)no subject
on 30 Jun 2004 10:36 (UTC)Classic (if unfilmed) geek porno
on 30 Jun 2004 12:43 (UTC)Re: Classic (if unfilmed) geek porno
on 30 Jun 2004 12:46 (UTC)no subject
on 1 Jul 2004 17:10 (UTC)heh
on 1 Jul 2004 19:12 (UTC)=)