Dragonlance: Companion's Rhapsody

[juldea]

If you ever read the Dragonlance novels and you're familiar with Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, you'll love/hate this:

Companion's Rhapsody, originally published in Dragon Magazine long, long ago.


TANIS: ...... Is this my real life?
....................Is this just fantasy?
....................Where do the stars hide?
....................Why does evil close in on me?

RAISTLIN:..Hourglass eyes
....................Look up to the skies and see.
....................I'm not a weak mage,
....................I know the truth you see.
...................There will be Dragons Blue,
................... Dragons White,
....................Dragons Good, rise to fight.
....................Any way the War goes
....................Doesn't really matter to me...
....................To me.........

TAS:..........Tanis, look at me!
...................Found a purse all full of gold!
...................Oh it's yours? Well then I'll hold--
...................TANIS--please let go of me!
...................I swear I thought you'd thrown it all away!

STURM:...Tanis...hey, let him go.
...................He didn't mean to take your cash.
...................We must be off to find the Lance tomorrow.
...................Caramon, Caramon:
...................Where is Kitiara?

KITIARA:..I'm late, to meet my friends.
...................Sent men to the front line.
...................Greatest power will be mine.
...................Good-bye, everybody, I've got to go,
...................Gonna leave you all behind,
...................And lead my troops.
...................Tanis (ooo-ooo) you deserve to die.
...................Behind my back you've fallen for Laurana...

LAURANA:..I see a little Qualinesti in your soul,
...................Tanthalas, Tanthalas,
...................Can I be your companion?
...................The memories you're fighting--
...................That human woman's fright'ning me!

TANIS:.....Kitiara, KITIARA!. Kitiara, KITIARA!
...................Kitiara Uth Matar--
................... A Dragonlord!

FLINT:.....I'm just an old dwarf, everybody bugs me.
Chorus:.......He's just an old dwarf, but he's still family.
...................He will give his life so that we can be free.

CARAMON:...Easy go, easy come.
.........................Everybody thinks I'm dumb.
Chorus:.....Car-a-mon! We do not think you're dumb.
CARAMON:...I'm not dumb?
Chorus:.....Car-a-mon! We do not think you're dumb.
CARAMON:......I'm not dumb!
Chorus:.....We do not think you're dumb.
CARAMON:...I'm not......
.........................Dumb,dumb,dumb,dumb,dumb,dumb,dumb,dumb,dumb!

CARAMON:...Oh brother Raistlin, brother Raistlin,
..........................Brother Raistlin, where'd you go?

RAISTLIN:..To Takhisis,
......................She's a black robe set aside for me
......................For me....
......................For me!

(musical interlude, headbanging, etc.)

STURM:....So you think evil dragons can beat the good guys?
...................So you think you can stab me and leave me to die?
...................Oh Lady--you might do this to me, Lady.
...................But you'll never win out,
...................You'll never defeat Good and Right!

TANIS:......Paladine has triumphed
...................Check the skies and see.
...................Evil has no place here--
...................We're free.

Comments

[jmspencer.livejournal.com]

Curse you... that's going to be stuck in my head for the next several hours... ::humming "Oh Brother Raistlin, Brother Raistlin..."::

[juldea.livejournal.com]

For me it's, "Kitiara KITIARA Kitiara KITIARA Kitiara Uth Matar - A Dragonlord!"

[jmspencer.livejournal.com]

Gah! I had read over that one. I think my brain registered it as overly catchy... now it's there and it's not going ANYwhere... curse you!!

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Muahahahaha!

[karlean7.livejournal.com]

Oh, my lord. That's fucking hilarious.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Bog, I thought I had shown it to you once at my house, but I guess not. Well, woo. :)

[londo.livejournal.com]

That is full of awesome.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Get used to it. I'm full of awesome.

[petrorabbit.livejournal.com]

This . . . has made joining LJ worth the trouble.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

I am pleased to bring such joy to your life.

[en-ki.livejournal.com]

Snerk. I remember reading this in the April issue of Dragon, the only year I was subscribed.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

Sweet, but can you remember what year?
I tore out the page. I have it in my room, in my box of special stuff.

[en-ki.livejournal.com]

I'll go with 1993. What do I win?

Fuck, I'm an old-ass fuck.

[juldea.livejournal.com]

That sounds about right. That's around the age I picked up the books for the first time.