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juldeaLast night's dream:
A friend recruited me to help her resurrect Satan (his soul was hanging around the universe, but had been separated from the body, and that's what we were going to put back together). Doing this involved keeping Satan's head in my fridge overnight. That was weird. Then, somehow we got sidetracked from resurrecting Satan and instead put a bomb inside of a church. Then we sat outside in the parking lot. I put my head in her lap just as a tired kind of gesture, and then my aunt (very very very super-Christian) came by and damned us for being lesbians.
Anyway, the bomb went off in the church (although no loud noise or anything, and no panic, just sad people filing out of the church) and I felt kinda bad. But not horribly bad. Satan then walked through the parking lot and I guess I hoped that he would validate me and then I'd stop feeling bad, but instead he laughed at me in a stupid-human-doesn't-get-it, evil-never-makes-you-happy way. Then Jesus came through the crowds, comforting people, and stopped in front of me to say out loud that I had kept Satan's head in my fridge overnight. He didn't say I was involved in the bombing, but everyone knew at that point. I just silently got up and walked away (and no one chased me).
Cut to a few days later, but it seems the word didn't get out that I was involved in the bombing, because people were still interacting with me although I was quiet, sullen, withdrawn, etc. I had a friend (I know it was based on a real-life friend or conglomeration of friends but I can't remember who now... but it probably included Clint Wilson and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
reyjadan) who had been a member of that church and who I knew was a devout Christian and I felt awful around them and knew I had to say something.
So I go to his house and get him outside and start to slowly, in a drop-clue-by-clue kind of way, try to confess to what I did. At first he doesn't get it and thinks I'm trying to admit to something else, because (I assume) he can't imagine that I'd be behind bombing a church, but eventually I pretty much come out and say it (by mentioning that I'd done something that got people KILLED). He reacts... kind of violently, but not? Like he'd like to be violent, but holds back because he knows its wrong. Oh, and apparently my female friend cohort had been found out earlier in the week and threatened with a lot of fire... which she preferred to other methods of torture. Anyway...
I'm breaking down in this dream, trying to apologize to my friend and get across how incredibly horrible I feel about what I did. Did I mention this is one of those incredibly vivid dreams that you think is real? Yeah. So I'm trying to get across to my friend how incredibly sorry I am, he's trying to control his anger at me, and then another friend of ours (female) from the same church comes along and he explains the situation to her and just when I think I'm done for, who shows up but..
Jesus, of course. He comes along, all with the crown of thorns and white robes and glowiness, and of course I fall to my knees sobbing and confess and rant about how horrible I am. I don't ask for forgiveness, because how could I be forgiven for what I'd done? But of course he reaches out for my hands and pulls me up to standing and I'm forgiven, and I won't even attempt to put that emotion into words but I'm sure most of you can imagine it.
And then I worry if my forgiveness will be wasted because I still didn't plan on reading the Bible or going to church. So I ask Jesus how to stay saved, and he puts down a credit card next to me and tells me to always buy Shell gasoline. And that I should go live in Connecticut because I'd be happy there.
....
That dream almost did an amazing job at being, well, kind of overwhelming. But then there was those last few seconds that completely boggled everything up. Heh.
This is what I get for going to bed after eating brown rice smothered in queso.
A friend recruited me to help her resurrect Satan (his soul was hanging around the universe, but had been separated from the body, and that's what we were going to put back together). Doing this involved keeping Satan's head in my fridge overnight. That was weird. Then, somehow we got sidetracked from resurrecting Satan and instead put a bomb inside of a church. Then we sat outside in the parking lot. I put my head in her lap just as a tired kind of gesture, and then my aunt (very very very super-Christian) came by and damned us for being lesbians.
Anyway, the bomb went off in the church (although no loud noise or anything, and no panic, just sad people filing out of the church) and I felt kinda bad. But not horribly bad. Satan then walked through the parking lot and I guess I hoped that he would validate me and then I'd stop feeling bad, but instead he laughed at me in a stupid-human-doesn't-get-it, evil-never-makes-you-happy way. Then Jesus came through the crowds, comforting people, and stopped in front of me to say out loud that I had kept Satan's head in my fridge overnight. He didn't say I was involved in the bombing, but everyone knew at that point. I just silently got up and walked away (and no one chased me).
Cut to a few days later, but it seems the word didn't get out that I was involved in the bombing, because people were still interacting with me although I was quiet, sullen, withdrawn, etc. I had a friend (I know it was based on a real-life friend or conglomeration of friends but I can't remember who now... but it probably included Clint Wilson and
reyjadan) who had been a member of that church and who I knew was a devout Christian and I felt awful around them and knew I had to say something.So I go to his house and get him outside and start to slowly, in a drop-clue-by-clue kind of way, try to confess to what I did. At first he doesn't get it and thinks I'm trying to admit to something else, because (I assume) he can't imagine that I'd be behind bombing a church, but eventually I pretty much come out and say it (by mentioning that I'd done something that got people KILLED). He reacts... kind of violently, but not? Like he'd like to be violent, but holds back because he knows its wrong. Oh, and apparently my female friend cohort had been found out earlier in the week and threatened with a lot of fire... which she preferred to other methods of torture. Anyway...
I'm breaking down in this dream, trying to apologize to my friend and get across how incredibly horrible I feel about what I did. Did I mention this is one of those incredibly vivid dreams that you think is real? Yeah. So I'm trying to get across to my friend how incredibly sorry I am, he's trying to control his anger at me, and then another friend of ours (female) from the same church comes along and he explains the situation to her and just when I think I'm done for, who shows up but..
Jesus, of course. He comes along, all with the crown of thorns and white robes and glowiness, and of course I fall to my knees sobbing and confess and rant about how horrible I am. I don't ask for forgiveness, because how could I be forgiven for what I'd done? But of course he reaches out for my hands and pulls me up to standing and I'm forgiven, and I won't even attempt to put that emotion into words but I'm sure most of you can imagine it.
And then I worry if my forgiveness will be wasted because I still didn't plan on reading the Bible or going to church. So I ask Jesus how to stay saved, and he puts down a credit card next to me and tells me to always buy Shell gasoline. And that I should go live in Connecticut because I'd be happy there.
....
That dream almost did an amazing job at being, well, kind of overwhelming. But then there was those last few seconds that completely boggled everything up. Heh.
This is what I get for going to bed after eating brown rice smothered in queso.
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on 12 Nov 2003 11:34 (UTC)no subject
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on 27 Nov 2003 23:54 (UTC)