I discovered this year that all of my angst about roleplaying doesn't come from bad games or bad characters or bad GMs. It comes from the fact that
I hate role-playing.
It makes so much sense, when you think about it! Roleplaying is not a
complex set of simple instructions like I want. I have been trying to do it that way; using my character sheet as a checklist of Things To Do, but the whole process of feeling the need to pretend to be someone else while trying to do these things frustrates the hell out of me. Because that's not what I want! If I'm given a list of Things To Do, I just want to Do them and not worry about being realistic. Heh.
I can elaborate on this more later, but for now I am sleepy and need to call my family.