I think I've noticed a trend.
My willpower/motivation/interest generally stops at "good enough". Or that's what it 'says' when it stops because the novelty of something is gone. "Good enough! You were good and worked hard on this for a month, who cares if it's finished or not? It's not fun anymore!"
I have a hard time when something stops being enjoyable in and of itself, but I still need/should want to do it because of some reward in the future. Switching the way I think about it from short-term pleasure to long-term is extremely difficult. It's like a service that I took for granted would always be free suddenly decided to charge a fee.
Is there one word that means "in and of itself"? I feel like there's something else more succinct I could be putting in there. If I know it, though, it's eluding me at the moment.
Anyway, I'm slipping out of the good motivated person this trip had me at for a long time, and I'm grasping at metaphorical branches to try to keep from falling. Jason is good for that, even when he's not around. So was Adriana, if only because she was an obligation AND a roommate. She's gone now, though. I guess since the things I'm worried about aren't that serious really, I should do a test run of actually MAKING myself do things. Gasp. Maybe it'll work.
Maybe willpower is like a muscle.
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