This! THIS. #2 is a dealbreaker; #1 is essential. Not because of ownership issues, but because if one person in the relationship is breaking the limits that they and their partner has agreed upon, then there's something wrong with the relationship. And a wise poly person does not become a third party to a relationship with boundary issues.
(Or, to state it in its most common form: Thank you for telling me that you and your wife are having trouble and you totally plan to leave her any minute now. Leave her and we'll talk. Until then, I am not your relationship band-aid.)
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 22 Feb 2010 18:31 (UTC)(Or, to state it in its most common form: Thank you for telling me that you and your wife are having trouble and you totally plan to leave her any minute now. Leave her and we'll talk. Until then, I am not your relationship band-aid.)