juldea: (lemur)
I am a flirt. Most of you know this. What can I say; I enjoy attention. This sometimes leads to people trying to gauge the possibility of actually becoming involved with me in whatever way (romantic, physical, etc.), and in many of these cases, leads to a comment structured as so: "Well, I could [say more|be more forward|make a move|prove it], but your boyfriend might object."

This is wrong, and you should never do it.

I am in control of my body. Not anyone I am dating or otherwise involved with. Whether or not you and I flirt, kiss, make out, fuck, whatever, is my decision to make, and the only person you need to worry about approving or disapproving is me.

I am also in control of my relationships. If you want to be involved with me, you don't sit down and work out the arrangements with my SO. You work it out with me. If my SO objects to anything I discuss, commit to, or do with another person, that is my problem to deal with, not yours.

My body and heart are not anyone's property but my own, and no one but me can make decisions about it. So quit passive-aggressively hinting that you have intentions towards me that my SO might object to, and instead perhaps ask me what I think? I mean, I know that by flirting I am inviting people to think about being involved with me, and when that happens I do want to know if someone is interested (for the ego boost if nothing else!) But there are ways to communicate interest and query for response, and I find the above to be a bad way to do it.

Edit: This rant is specifically directed at the situation wherein the person saying the above is not anyone who has a relationship of their own with my SO that they might worry about. Also, I want to point out that so far, most of the comments from men I've received have been related to this lack of clarification, and most of the comments from women I've received have been YES YES YES THIS. Heh.

Edit 2: I am editing this post continuously in response to feedback I'm receiving about how I'm communicating. Just be aware.
juldea: (lemur)
I am a flirt. Most of you know this. What can I say; I enjoy attention. This sometimes leads to people trying to gauge the possibility of actually becoming involved with me in whatever way (romantic, physical, etc.), and in many of these cases, leads to a comment structured as so: "Well, I could [say more|be more forward|make a move|prove it], but your boyfriend might object."

This is wrong, and you should never do it.

I am in control of my body. Not anyone I am dating or otherwise involved with. Whether or not you and I flirt, kiss, make out, fuck, whatever, is my decision to make, and the only person you need to worry about approving or disapproving is me.

I am also in control of my relationships. If you want to be involved with me, you don't sit down and work out the arrangements with my SO. You work it out with me. If my SO objects to anything I discuss, commit to, or do with another person, that is my problem to deal with, not yours.

My body and heart are not anyone's property but my own, and no one but me can make decisions about it. So quit passive-aggressively hinting that you have intentions towards me that my SO might object to, and instead perhaps ask me what I think? I mean, I know that by flirting I am inviting people to think about being involved with me, and when that happens I do want to know if someone is interested (for the ego boost if nothing else!) But there are ways to communicate interest and query for response, and I find the above to be a bad way to do it.

Edit: This rant is specifically directed at the situation wherein the person saying the above is not anyone who has a relationship of their own with my SO that they might worry about. Also, I want to point out that so far, most of the comments from men I've received have been related to this lack of clarification, and most of the comments from women I've received have been YES YES YES THIS. Heh.

Edit 2: I am editing this post continuously in response to feedback I'm receiving about how I'm communicating. Just be aware.
juldea: (Order of the Stick kissing)
[livejournal.com profile] zombie_dog and I are now dating.

Yay. :)
juldea: (Order of the Stick kissing)
[livejournal.com profile] zombie_dog and I are now dating.

Yay. :)
juldea: (Default)
embedded video behind cut )Amazingly emotive performance.

Song fits a lot of current situations in my part of the world.
juldea: (Default)
embedded video behind cut )Amazingly emotive performance.

Song fits a lot of current situations in my part of the world.
juldea: (mishakal)
I am pondering a new rule for myself: no dating until I'm out of debt. I feel like this rule would be healthy for me in multiple ways.

Specifics still being weighed.
juldea: (mishakal)
I am pondering a new rule for myself: no dating until I'm out of debt. I feel like this rule would be healthy for me in multiple ways.

Specifics still being weighed.
juldea: (sleepy catball)
A few hours ago I broke up with [livejournal.com profile] usernamenumber.

I ask that if you know him, go offer him some hugs. Then, if you have some to spare, I'll take a few too.
juldea: (sleepy catball)
A few hours ago I broke up with [livejournal.com profile] usernamenumber.

I ask that if you know him, go offer him some hugs. Then, if you have some to spare, I'll take a few too.
juldea: (Order of the Stick kissing)
So, I've learned something recently. If I post to LJ about things I want, visible to those who can do something about it... sometimes they do. >_>

Also, sometimes life can be VERY different than you would've imagined it'd be a year ago.
juldea: (Order of the Stick kissing)
So, I've learned something recently. If I post to LJ about things I want, visible to those who can do something about it... sometimes they do. >_>

Also, sometimes life can be VERY different than you would've imagined it'd be a year ago.

whine

8 May 2009 10:40
juldea: (joco close)
More of the things I want should be attainable.

(This is totally-out-of-proportion whining. I've got it pretty good right now.)

whine

8 May 2009 10:40
juldea: (joco close)
More of the things I want should be attainable.

(This is totally-out-of-proportion whining. I've got it pretty good right now.)
juldea: (Default)
[Error: unknown template video]


I'm Willow.

Wow. "Sorry" doesn't even begin to cut it, does it?

The only, only shred of hope I can find here is that she was eventually forgiven.

So that's what I've got. A TV show plot, a thin shred of hope, and repentance.
juldea: (Default)
[Error: unknown template video]


I'm Willow.

Wow. "Sorry" doesn't even begin to cut it, does it?

The only, only shred of hope I can find here is that she was eventually forgiven.

So that's what I've got. A TV show plot, a thin shred of hope, and repentance.
juldea: (sleepy catball)
[Error: unknown template video]

Turns out, no matter how much you want to change and wish them back, sometimes you can just make too many mistakes.
juldea: (sleepy catball)
[Error: unknown template video]

Turns out, no matter how much you want to change and wish them back, sometimes you can just make too many mistakes.
juldea: (braid)
This was an amazing Arisia.

I didn't have a night I got to bed before 5, and each morning I had to start my staff shift at 9. A couple of naps Saturday and Sunday evenings supplimented. Glad I'm not driving or operating heavy machinery today.

I didn't go to a single panel. I went to movies and dances, circus performances, and my own performance with Second Shift. I reconnected with old friends and connected for the first time with new ones.

More later as I decompress and discuss. <3
juldea: (braid)
This was an amazing Arisia.

I didn't have a night I got to bed before 5, and each morning I had to start my staff shift at 9. A couple of naps Saturday and Sunday evenings supplimented. Glad I'm not driving or operating heavy machinery today.

I didn't go to a single panel. I went to movies and dances, circus performances, and my own performance with Second Shift. I reconnected with old friends and connected for the first time with new ones.

More later as I decompress and discuss. <3

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